Hey, You!

You were the punks who broke into our nursery school and turned it into a scene worthy of Helter Skelter. Couldn't you find anything better to tag? After you presumably killed what few brain cells nature gave you by huffing Raid or spray paint, you didn't target an overpass or apartment building. That would be far too ambitious for the likes of you. Instead, you chose a nursery school. You scrawled on our walls, pissed in our sink and tormented our guinea pig. Most likely it was the crowning achievement of your sad little lives. How glad I am to not be you, to be so cowardly that I have nothing better to do than stomp all over the safe haven of a bunch of harmless 4-year-olds to make myself feel so big and bad. A pointless crime committed by witless morons living pointless lives. Here's to you, real men of genius. Your mothers must be very proud.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.