'Starch Builds Up Like Wax On Your Car'

Never mind the backward baseball cap and oversized shorts that look like knickers on men. What really kills custom clothier Cyndie Gruber is the damage done to an otherwise great men's suit by "beat-up shoes and a worn-out belt. Atrocious." Also? Button-down collars with ties—the button-down collar is meant to be worn sans neckwear, unless you're living in the '80s, she says—and blousy shirts, what she calls a "man-dress."

"I walk up to people like that and hand them my card," she says. If your shirt is an untuckable mess, it might be too short; the length is right when you've got two buttons below your belt line. Never starch your shirts ("Starch builds up like wax on your car"). Do go for colors and patterns (she likes something called "tattersall," a box print—we looked it up).

"The average off-the-rack shirt is made in 18 seconds," she says. Her custom shirts take about five hours and are made in a country once famous for its manufacturing, the United States of America.

On the day she measured me, Gruber took 11 measurements for my shirt alone; she recommended killing the second button on the cuff and making the left cuff slightly larger than the right (to accommodate a wristwatch). She was wearing a pair of classic sharp-toed pumps and a slinky blouse; she was riveting. Where does she go for her custom clothes? She doesn't. "Most women don't wear custom clothes because women are tricky"—their styles change seasonally, their weight fluctuates dramatically, they've got "more curves" than men. She concludes: "Men are simpler because they're boxy." Gee, thanks.

CYNDIE GRUBER'S CUSTOM SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE THROUGH WWW.AUSTINTAYLOR.NET.