Lend Me Your Ear

Everyone's got a story to tell—most of which are sucktacular, incoherent utterances to the tune of "blah-batty blah blah, me me blah"—but still stories nevertheless. And no one knows the mindless ramblings of storytellers better than the Santa Ana Zoo, which faces a typical demographic of runny-nosed, sticky-fingered, toddlers and senior citizens, incapable of explaining things in brief and with a clear point.

Hosted by the South Coast Storytellers Guild, this gathering of narrators, liars, stretchers of truth and make-upers of tales will be given the opportunity to spill their beans in just minutes (a task my father has yet to accomplish). Few will try, and even fewer will succeed in the "Got a Minute" contest, otherwise known as 60 seconds of this: jackandjillwentupthehilltofetchapailofwater [breath] jackfelldownandbrokehiscrownandjillcametumbleingafter [breath] upgotjackandhomedidtrotasfastashecouldcaper [breath] hewenttobedandboundhisheadwithvinegarandbrownpaper [breath] whew. The winner (and losers) will be rewarded by a concert given by representatives of local storytelling groups.

There will also be a "Passing the Candle Ceremony"—which one could only imagine is far more interesting than the "Passing the Buck Ceremony" currently happening in Senate with HR 4437.

23rd Annual Southern California Story-Swapping Festival at the Santa Ana Zoo, 1801 E. Chestnut Ave., Santa Ana, (714) 963-7810. Sat., 9 a.m. $15-$20. Registration required.