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SHE'S THE MAN
When Viola (Amanda Bynes) finds out that her high school girls' soccer team is being cut from the budget, she decides to do the only logical thing. She disguises herself (in the freakiest drag-show getup since It's Pat) as her slacker twin brother, Sebastian—who conveniently happens to be off playing hooky in London—so she can try out for the boys' team at his rival prep school, where she ends up roommates with this, like, really hot guy, Sebastian (Channing Tatum), who thinks she's, like, a really cool dude. If the names sound vaguely familiar, that's because She's the Man purports to be a contemporary update of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, courtesy of two of the same writers previously responsible for that pubescent Taming of the Shrew known as 10 Things I Hate About You. (Coming soon: Britney Spears as Lady Macbeth.) But She's the Man amounts to little more than softcore porn for the tween set, with aesthetics ripped from the pages of the Abercombie & Fitch catalog and virtually every scene revolving around Viola/Sebastian's crafty escape from some impromptu disrobing (post-soccer showers, a midnight hazing session, etc.). On the plus side, any movie that casts the inimitable Julie Hagerty as a high-society mom who briefly contemplates dating her teenage daughter's ex-boyfriend can't be all bad. (Scott Foundas) (Countywide)

"V" FOR VENDETTA
See Film feature. (Countywide)