Down the Hatch!

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BOOZE LUGE
Guaranteed to get the honeys flocking to your house from miles—miles!—away, the Shot Luge takes all the beauty of block ice and combines it with the wonder of hard liquor, and poof! You've got instant Hefner status. Actually, the Shot Luge is little more than a table on which to place the block of ice (you can buy them for around $100 at local ice houses), but the key is it's sloped. Simply chip a zany zigzag pattern into the ice (or pay someone at the ice house to do it for you—around $100, too) and place the ice on the Shot Luge. Then position a willing alcoholic babe at the bottom of the slope—and be sure to tell her to keep her mouth open, wink, wink—while you pour liquor down the, uh, luge (get it?). Rinse, barf, repeat. Visit www.shotluge.com for ordering information.

ONE TRIP TO THE LIP
Don't have wads of cash to blow on crap you don't really need (see above)? Then this one's for you: the Shot Gun beer opener. If you've never shotgunned a beer, you don't know what you're missing: simply puncture a hole near the bottom of a beer can, put your mouth over the hole, tilt your head back, crack open the beer and start guzzling. Why, I tried it here in the office just the other day—no, really—and I can honestly say there is no reason to drink a beer any other way, ever. And the Shot Gun only makes it that much better: the convenient, key-chain-sized device works as both a beer can and bottle opener and has a sharp-enough-but-not-too-sharp edge (think old-school juice-can opener) that creates perfect, non-scraggly holes every time. The days of using your keys to puncture cans (and then bleeding all over the place after cutting your lips) are over. Now, get wasted. Visit www.shotgunparty.com for more information.