Diary of a Mad County

Monday, March 6
Nick Lowe's "Cruel to be Kind." Yes. Salvation comes in all manner of gifts.

Tuesday, March 7
It's been a tough week, so I'd like to leave you with some words of solace from Thomas Kinkade, painter of light. When asked during a deposition if he had groped a woman's breasts—allegedly saying, "These are great tits"—during a meeting of Kinkade Gallery owners, he responded, "But you've got to remember, I'm the idol to these women who are there. They see my work every day, you know? They're enamored with any attention I would give them." Yes! Now why doesn't he paint that.

March 5: Pee. Pooh.

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• George W. Bush
• Winnie the Pooh
• Thomas Kinkade
• Terry Sheppard
• James Buchanan

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