Ah, Bayside. With your pretty paintings and your classy bar and your rich people looking for action amid the canapés. I just might hit up today's wine tastings, focusing on Turkey. I like my Turkish wines like I like my Turkish men: sweet, smart and at 5:30 in the morning. Too bad they mean wines that go with turkey. The food. 5:30 p.m. $15. Bayside Restaurant, 900 Bayside Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 721-1222.
And it's No. 183 in the list of Things Rebecca Recommends From Her Delightful Childhood. Do go see Rickie Lee Jones—we're pretty sure she's all cleaned up—the blackest little white girl ever to hit 1979, with her funky, scratchy, jazzy, scatty songs from the underground like "Coolsville," "Danny's All-Star Joint," the stupid-sexy "Easy Money" and the one the rest of y'all know, "Chuck E's in Love." She had other albums too, but my parents didn't have 'em. With Vic Chesnutt. 8 p.m. $33. All ages. The Grove of Anaheim, 2200 E. Katella Ave., Anaheim, (714) 712-2700.
There's great music going on tonight, so do check out Get Out for that, unless Ziegler forgot Lords of Altamont, in which case they're playing at the Doll Hut. But don't you wanna see some Polish belles competing for the California title of Miss Polonia California and international title Queen of Polonia? Come on, Polish girls are freakin' hot—and I'm a quarter one of 'em! The finalist gets a chance to go to New York to compete for Miss Polonia USA 2005. Entertainment includes a performance by Polish artists and folk dancers for the somewhat steep price of $30. Maybe it goes for a good cause. 5 p.m. Long Beach Scottish Rite Cathedral, 855 Elm Ave., Long Beach, (562) 435-5232.
Girls grades five through eight (and teachers and parents) are invited to come do sciency experiments—and since everybody knows girls don't like science, they're also adding a street fair, food, music and fun at the Sally Ride Science Festival. Workshops are given by women ranging from veterinarians to aerospace engineers. I bet some men's rights organization sues. Advanced registration required. 11 a.m.-4:15 p.m. $18. UC Irvine Bren Events Center, Mesa & W. Peltason roads, (800) 561-5161.
You know what sucks? Smoking. I love it so, so much. Maybe I'll go to this Dangers of Smoking quitting class hosted by the Anaheim Memorial Medical Center. But then again, maybe I won't. 6:30 p.m. Buena Park Downtown, Community Room, corner of La Palma and Stanton, Buena Park, (714) 999-3914.
Which do you choose: an artist, or the dick police chief who's out to get him? I know: it's tough for me too. But I merely ask myself, "What would Tosca do?" and then I pretty much do the opposite. Opera Pacific presents Giacomo Puccini's Tosca. Murder! Passion! Intrigue! They could have updated the classic opera as a meditation on the OCSD, but that would be a bit much, I guess. 7:30 p.m. See website or call for tickets. Orange County Performing Arts Center, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2787; www.ocpac.org.
Wed McClure's Bar & Grilllays off the karaoke and Phil Shane for a night, bringing you instead the rollicking country of Chap Cheeks. Recommended, unlike that stupid Tosca. 7:30 p.m. Free. 21+. McClure's Bar & Grill, 14401 Newport Ave., Tustin, (714) 544-1995.
Bring your kids—even the bitsiest ones—to Chain Reactionfor Dead '60s with Kill Radio and Facing New York. Keep in mind, though, that last time I took my son to the all-ages haven, it turned out the junior high chicklets were no longer in evidence; it's mostly high school now. Still: yummy. 7:30 p.m. $12. All ages. Chain Reaction, 1652 W. Lincoln Ave., Anaheim, (714) 635-6067; www.allages.com.