Perhaps you are having a Halloween party! Perhaps you would like said party to focus on Dia de los Muertos, or have a classy "black-and-orange" theme with candy corn and licorice, or maybe you want a toga party or a do for the kids! Well, if kids are what you're after, what are you gonna give them after the tater tots and root beer floats? You don't know? Me either! But The Crafty Kitchen does! It'll teach you to make chocolate treats for Halloween and other special occasions, including chocolate suckers, chocolate-covered cherries, turtles, peanut butter cups and many more! Yay! 6 p.m. Call for fee.Crafty Kitchen, 15667 Brookhurst St., Westminster,(714) 531-9504.
Wanna see something really scary? The League of Vampiric Bards presents its vision of romance, sunshine and candy-maned ponies. Goths just need to be loved. 7:30 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 7777 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 897-8781.
What'll it be: Alex's Costume Party with Manic Hispanic and Los Mysteriosos(recommended!)or the "John Waters: Change of Life" opening-night party? (Also recommended!) I don't know either. It's a tough one. Me, I'm gonna be at my friends Jon and Deb's. I'll be the one dressed as Dead Tinkerbell. Or else a "sexy hobo." Alexâ€™s Costume Party, 9 p.m. 21+,Alexâ€™s Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292; â€œJohn Waters: Change of Life,â€ 8 p.m.-midnight. $10-$12. Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 759-1122.
Sun The Haute Dog Howl-Oween Paradeonce cured my PMS. That's nothing, of course; The Moselys once actually cured my cold with nothing but the power of rock. Still, the Haute Dog parade is a hoot and a half, and if seeing little puffballs dressed as judges and brides doesn't make you happy, then you are Mudville, and you have no joy. Following the Haute Dog parade is one for the kiddies, same bat time, same bat channel. 2:30 p.m. $10 per parading dog. Free to watch! (The kids' contest is free.) Livingston Park, down the sidewalks of Second Street between Park and Nieto, Belmont Shore, Long Beach, (562) 439-3316.
Of course, if you are Mudville, you can always go to the John Waters book signing at OCMA. (See Saturday for address.) 2 p.m. Free with admission.
You know what's cool? Werewolves. I used to read all kinds of fun books about possible medical causes of vampirism and werewolfery. ESP too. It's amazing what they used to let sit on elementary school library shelves before everyone started going all "Harvest" instead of "Halloween." Fucking Christians. Where were we? Oh,Spooky Science Werewolves.Explore a spooky 3-D maze and learn about werewolves, real wolves and the phases of the moon. You can meet Taborri, a real wolf, and learn how wolves communicate and how they differ from dogs. Visitors are welcome to wear costumes. There will also be spooky storytelling and trick-or-treat goody bags. I'm assuming this one's for the kids, but you shouldn't let that stop you. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Free with admission ($11; children & seniors, $8.50). Discovery Science Center, 2500 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 542-2823.
Say, have you seen "John Watersâ€"Change of Life"yet? No? You're gonna have to turn in your alt.-card if you're not careful. Stop by and see the survey of 80 recent photographic and sculptural works by the iconic filmmaker, even though I wasn't very complimentary in this week's art review. $8-$10. Open 11 a.m.-5 p.m. See Saturday for address. I'm sick of typing that shit.
Wanna see something really scary (redux)? How about spooky Mummies:Treasures From the British Museum at the BowersMuseum, chock full of real live dead folks! 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $12-$17. Bowers Museum of Cultural Art, 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 567-3600. Thurs/Nov 3
Hey, guess what today is? You're really good at guessing, aren't you! A showing of Hairspray, John Waters' first film to break beyond the shit-eaters-only of his early works. Starring still-fat Ricki Lake as the most adorable teen in Baltimore, it looks at race and rock and roll and fatness and losers. Yay! And in an even more fantastic move, starting today, OCMA is moving its weekly free day from Tuesday to Thursday. Update your PDA accordingly. 7:30 p.m. FREE! (See Saturday, remember?)