Hong Kong Phooey

Illustration by Bob AulYo, razor-toothed, illiterate putz. The next time your snot-nosed loser kid touches my son at school, all hell is gonna break loose! Not only am I going to be sure he never attends public school again, I am going to sue your miserable ass for every cent that you have in your piggy bank. Don't underestimate the power of a gimp, her hippie husband or her kind, sweet-natured preteen! While your kid has been terrorizing all the kids at school and on the playground since he learned how to snarl, my kid has been taking kung fu and kickboxing lessons. Tell your out-of-control son that he is going to have a meeting with my kid's powerful kung fu fist the next time he even looks at him with his beady little nasty eyes or teases him with his foul language. This is one family you will no longer threaten with lawsuits or intimidation. We all know that your kid doesn't know any better because you would sooner spend money on yourself and your booze, drugs and cool clothing than take care of your kid and get him the psychiatric care that he so desperately needs. Wake up and join the real world. Go get him help and tell him to stay clear. We have had it with you and a school district that does nothing to defend our innocent kid from merciless bullying! The time has come for the bully and his father to start worrying for a change.

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