A Clockwork Orange

"It's the gays fault that a priest molested a boy who turned gay because of a priest!"

You know how conservatives -- REAL conservatives -- have always had a problem with Dubnuts since, well, always? Okay, not all of them have had misgivings about him from the beginning, but his administration's out-of-control spending and mounting deficit did draw some conservative consternation well before his second stolen presidential election, as reported by that traitor Bob Novak (and passed along by your favorite Weekly).

Now the New York Times reports that Bruce Bartlett was just fired as a senior fellow at the National Center for Policy Analysis after he supplied the Dallas-based conservative research group's president the manuscript of his forthcoming book, The Impostor: How George W. Bush Bankrupted America and Betrayed the Reagan Legacy. For a sneak peak, check out Bartlett's recent Washington Times column titled "An Illusion Ripped Wide Open." He makes the case that the Bush White House should not be surprised by the vehement conservative backlash to Harriet Miers' Supreme Court nomination.

"This revolt has been long in the making," Bartlett writes. "What is surprising is that took so long to come into the open." Among "the conservative list of grievances" against Bush:

*A vast expansion of education spending with little real reform.

*A weak immigration policy that has led to active, grass-roots hostility against the administration's guest-worker program.

*Explosive government spending during the Bush years. (Oh, for the days of Clintonia!)

*More government regulation on big business thanks to the Sarbanes-Oxley bill, which Republicans rushed through Congress to deflect Enron-scandal criticism—but does nothing to prevent Enron-style abuses.

"Had George W. Bush demonstrated more fealty to conservative principles over the last five years, he might have gotten a pass on Miss Miers," Bartlett writes. "But coming on top of all the big government initiatives he has supported, few in the conservative movement are inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt any longer."

As that man in the bad wig on NBC's The Apprentice says, "You're fired!"

And by "you" we mean the messenger, not Bush.

Posted Oct. 18, 5:20 p.m.
I'm soooo out of here.
A certain Sikorsky Sea King helicopter was burned into America's consciousness on Aug. 9, 1974, and now, as Joe Vargo reports in today's Riverside Press-Enterprise (sadly, you've got to register), March Field volunteers are restoring the Vietnam-era chopper that ferried Orange County favorite disgraced son Richard Nixon away from the White House one last time. Surely you recall the famous shot of the Dickster boarding the copter, his back stiff like a vampire balancing his cape, and then stopping just before the doorway, whipping around like he'd just thought of something, bending his stiff right arm in something between a wave and salute, and then sticking both upper limbs out in cognac-shaky peace signs as a goofy grin washed over his shame-ravaged face.

Ah, memories, sweet, sweet memories.
Ryan Scott has fun with
a famous image.

But the weirdest thing of all is when you look at those famous shots, it appears Nixon's head was cut out of one photo and haphazardly slapped on another body. It's all out-of-proportion and shit, or as if The Nixon Noggin floated in a jar, like in that episode of Futurama, only to be shoved over the head of the real man making peace signs/flipping birds on the Tarmac.

The same helicopter behind whoever it is also carted JFK, Lyndon Johnson and Gerald Ford around, but this particular military ghettobird is so associated with the Dick that once March's museum folks are done sprucing it up, it'll go on display at the Richard Nixon Library & Burp Place in Yorba Linda in time for the 93rd anniversary of Dick's emergence from his mom's vagina on Jan. 9.

Among those the P-E's Vargo bumped into when the Sikorsky Sea King arrived at March Field was Seal Beach resident Gene Boyer, who piloted the copter for that fateful 12-minute trip that took Nixon and his family from the White House to Andrews Air Force Base, where they hopped on the military plane that would return them to California, private life and much successful strategizing on returning Nixon into public view as a "statesman" many years later. Boyer recounted fighting back tears as Nixon boarded for the final time. "He stopped in the cockpit and thanked me for my service," Boyer said. "When he saw the tears, he said 'Stop that.'"

That same day in '74, Hemet resident Dave Pirnie piloted the copter that took the Nixons from El Toro Marine Corps Air Station to their home -- and suddenly former Western White House -- in San Clemente. Pirnie was also there when the Sea King came to March, Vargo reports.

By the time well-wishers singing "God Bless America" had met Nixon, his mood had turned sour, Pirnie recalled. "It was not pleasant," he remembered. "He was mad at something, maybe because he lost his job. He didn't say thanks for the ride. It had to be a traumatic day for him."

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