Our Vagetarian in Washington

A bumper crop of bad news!? Thanks, Bush!

In my part of the world, we call that "taking personal responsibility." But that thing DeLay did? Oh, who cares? He's a dick.

Like I said, the GOP's had a tough week.

So how do you change a news cycle?

Meet Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers.

Or don't, because by the time this column comes out, she'll probably have met a nanny problem she can't refuse. The Family Research Council ain't too hot on her, and what the Family Research Council wants . . . oh, I already said that.

* * *

Look, Americans aren't assholes. Well, some are. Actually, I know several. But most of us don't approve of crooks handing out bought-and-paid-for government favors or want to get up in our neighbors' business. Most of us do believe in a social contract that mandates we take care of the least among us, in case we're ever the least-among-us ourselves. Most of us don't want to live in Calcutta, with its great divides, or behind walls in luxury while children without dig through the garbage of their favelas—although I guess you wouldn't know it in Newport Coast. Most of us are a little racist sometimes, but at least we get embarrassed when we recognize it and try not to do it again. And most of us don't want more than our fair share, just a nice, middle-class existence where an illness won't send you into bankruptcy, where maybe you can actually own a damn home. My grandmother always said wealth wasn't about what you had, it was about what you didn't need. Of course, she was a Jew, and a Great Depression New Dealer at that.

Still: fucking Newport.

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