A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

Katrina's Blame is Ours
Society is loudly whining about the dysfunctional government response to Hurricane Katrina. We are demanding, those responsible must "pay a heavy price" for governments inactions. The sad truth is that those responsible ARE paying a heavy price and we as a society are to blame.

Check closely how our government is organized. Be it federal, state or local government, "The People" are always at the very top of the organizational tree. Our elected representatives, who are our subordinates, are directly below "The People" and the rest of government are below them.

This is OUR government and we have collectively failed ourselves. We have allowed ourselves to become complacent. We routinely permit government to dictate "we the sheepeople" what to do instead of "We the People" telling government what to do. Voter participation is at an all time low. Do you vote? (If you don't vote, you forfeit your right to complain.)

Do you think government is going to protect your life and property from "the big quake" which government tells us "is sure to come"? Californians better wake up and start making some demands of our clearly dysfunctional government before we suffer the same fate as the Gulf Coast.

Can you name your local elected officials? If not, YOU are part of the problem. How is OUR government to serve us if "we the sheepeople" refuse to participate. Do society a favor. Get involved. Try contacting your elected representatives and tell them what is on your mind. If you find they refuse make time for you. Don't vote for them in the next election. It's as simple as that.

And don't blame me. I vote Libertarian.

Norm Westwell
Huntington Beach, CA

P.S. Too bad you spineless cowards no longer have the courage to print stuff like this.

Man, Norm, I dunno. That is a bit too hot for us at the Weekly. So the government bungled Katrina because we don't vote. Whoa, you're really playing fire with that one, �Firecracker.�

So I guess you folks can see now why we at the Weekly don't wade deep into our email inbox.


OUR SECRETS REVEALED!
Clockwork hears from folks every day who say, �Clockwork, put your pants on!� Then we hear from other paper who say, �Clockwork, how does the Weekly keep on doing what it does? It's amazing! What's your secret? Oh, and could you please put your pants on!�

I can report right now that what separates us from the pretenders is training. More specifically, training like the following, culled from an actual email to all staffers. (Please don't share this with our many competitors!)

Hello,
I'm glad to finally receive some feedback! This is a trail run to see if it's something we'll continue to do; feedback will benefit us all!

We will be grinding the 2 pots in the morning and setting up the grinder for the day. To answer your question, here's the gist of the grinder:

1) The beans are placed in the cylinder shaped container; should be filled in the morning.

2) There's a setting for the type of grind, from fine to supper coarse. Twisting the cylinder shaped container will move to desired setting.

3) There's a setting for the # of cups you'd like to grind, it should be set to 10 cups.

4) Pressing the long start button will start the grinder; I'll place a "START" label on it for easier visibility.

5) You'll pull the clear box containing the grinds and the rest you know how to do, right?

Thanks again for your honesty!

Columbia Journalism School ain't got shit on us, baby!


EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY
This was sent from one of Clockwork's favorite local peaceniks, but credit actually goes to comedian Bill Maher, who got a nice column (with stinging final graf) from the LA �By God� Times' Paul Brownfield this morning.

Ethics Test
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Hobe Sound to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer.

Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It is George W. Bush! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under... forever.

You have two options: you can save the life of G. W. Bush or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

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