A Clockwork Orange

Buy my wonder snake oil: MCOKER@OCWEEKLY.COM


THIS JUST IN ...
As folks met in Irvine last night to discuss ideas for the 1,000-acre Orange County Great Park at the former El Toro Marine base, a rapid-tongued stranger rose up just before a vote was to be taken. Introducing himself as a Mr. Lyle Lanley, the gent, in a sing-songy voice, said:

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What'd I say?

Ed Dornan: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

Mitch Goldstone and Kenny the Printer: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!

[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

Christina Shea: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Mark Petracca: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Italian friend.

Drunky McDrunk: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.

Kenton Beshore: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Don Bren: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Irvine's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Monorail!

Christina Shea: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

Bart Shea: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[big finish]
Monorail!

Larry Agran: Mono... D'oh!

Clockwork's apologies toConan O'Brien.


Posted Sept. 13, 3:30 p.m.

WHO'S THE IDJIT NOW?
As expected, Michael Kinsley is out as op-ed editor at the Los Angeles Times. Andres Martinez, who was shuffled in with the title editorial page editor "under" Kinsley, now ads the op-ed page and Sunday Current to his current duties. Nikki Finke of our sister paper LA Weekly called this move a month and a half ago, generating a stinging rebuke from Kinsley, who called the veteran Hollywood reporter "an idiot."

The Times PR statement says the switch is effective immediately and that Martinez will report directly to publisher Jeffrey M. Johnson.

"Andres is a great writer and journalist who has done an outstanding job changing the editorial page through a significant revamping of our approach to opinion journalism," says Johnson in the flack attack. "I look forward to seeing The Times continue to engage readers on critical issues, including those of importance to the Southern California region."

Johnson was more curt when it came to the year-old reign of "resigning" Kinsley, formerly of Slate and, before that, CNN's Crossfire:

"Mike and I had discussions about his management responsibilities and other possible roles," said Johnson. "I concluded that it was best to make a clean break and I wish him well."

Yep, that's what we in the news biz call a "resignation."


BUSH WHACKED
A longtime reader sent this in about a movement to impeach George W. Bush (which gets more support in this Thursday's Weekly; stay tuned):

The Time is Now
Three Major Initiatives for the Impeachment Movement
We need your support to bring Impeachment to the White House door!

Please make a much needed contribution now for the growing costs of this demonstration - from many thousands of signs and flyers to buses to help get people to DC. Help us fill the streets with ImpeachBush banners and placards - and people! Click here to donate.

The overwhelming response to the latest call for impeachment from Ramsey Clark has given the impeachment movement the ability to intensify the nationwide effort and to launch new initiatives.

There are three specific pillars to this campaign and it is urgent that all members and supporters of the ImpeachBush/VoteToImpeach.org participate and spread the word to family members, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

Everyone can participate either directly as a volunteer and/or by making a financial contribution.

The three upcoming Impeach Bush initiatives are critical because the possibility of impeachment has never been greater than right now.

On September 10, 2005 the AP-Ipsos poll reported that President Bush's job approval has dropped below 40 percent for the first time, reflecting widespread disgust with the ongoing Iraq war, his response to the human catastrophe to Hurricane Katrina, and his "friends" in the oil and energy corporations, who have taken advantage of both the war and the hurricane to engage in price gouging and raise gas prices dramatically. Bush's systematic shredding of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution is another principal factor that accounts for the rising tide of disgust and outrage.

The impeachment agenda:

* September 24: Mobilize a massive contingent for the National March on Washington DC. This is a demonstration initiated by the peace movement and it is shaping up to be the largest demonstration since the beginning of the Iraq war. We will make the demand "Impeach Bush" highly visible throughout the day. The ImpeachBush movement will be assembling at the south side of the White House (an area called the Ellipse at 11:00 am). You can pick up ImpeachBush banners, placards, signs, literature, hats, and petitions.

We need volunteers to help us dispatch people and materials starting in the early morning of September 24. If you can help out please send an email letting us know your availability to be an ImpeachBush.org volunteer.

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