Diary of a Mad County

Aug. 24 - Aug. 29

Monday, Aug. 29
The wind blows cold, children cry and puppies take the pipe as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia comes to Orange County, flanked by his usual entourage of yakuza soldiers and flying monkeys. Scalia has come to Chapman University to take part in a mock trial—you know, like Robert Blake's—along with California Attorney General Bill Lockyer and other people who couldn't find a date, to retry the landmark Lochner vs. New YorkSupreme Court case of 1905—yeah, I have no idea either. I'm looking at the LA Times story of the event, and it says the case had something to do with bakery workers and a bakery owner who wanted the freedom to set his own hours. The mock judges—you know, like Clarence Thomas—decided that states could restrict working hours. After announcing the decision, Scalia joked, "This will be one of those unpublished decisions that will not be citable before the Supreme Court," which apparently passes for a joke around the Supreme Court, though it's not nearly as funny as Ruth Bader Ginsburg's hilarious "incontinent vicar" send-up. While at Chapman, Scalia also gave a lecture and ate the heart of a crippled orphan.

Tuesday, Aug. 30
Will someone please do something about the 22 freeway, please? Thank you.

slowery@ocweekly.com

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