By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
I find big-band music terribly romantic, although not as romantic as having my name peed in dirt. Don't you think my boyfriend should make up for his numerous misdeeds (like they used to say in the good old days, "Beat your child every day; if you don't know what he's done wrong, he will") by taking me to the Phoenix Club to see Lou Dokken's Big Band? Me too!7:30-10:30 p.m. $8 (free dance lesson included). Phoenix Club, 1340 Sanderson Ave., Anaheim, (714) 563-4166.
Go-go—or pogo!—with New Wave Karaoke with Mr. Miyagi. 9 p.m. 21+. Free. Alex's Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 434-8292.
Big Sandy—patron saint of the county's rockabilly scene—throws hisself a right-rocking birthday bash with, get this, Big Sandy's Big Birthday Bashat the Galaxy. Do you miss the '50s? How about the late '90s? Then dust off your lower back tattoos, get those Bettie Page bangs just right, and head down for Devil Doll, Big Sandy & the Lonely Blue Boys, the flat-out amazing Catti Ness & the Revenge,and many more. 8 p.m. All ages. $13. Galaxy Concert Theatre, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600; www.galaxytheatre.com.
There is no other place to be in the world tonight than home watching the final episode of Six Feet Under, the best show on television for the past five years. I heard they all bite it, one by one. HBO, 9 p.m.
Today's the day you should adopt the kitten I found in the middle of the street on 17th. He's gray and cute, and I think I killed all the fleas. Call (714) 550-5900. I really don't even like cats. Come on. Help a brother out.
You know what sounds awesome?Nixon and Kennedy—Friendly Rivals. Yeah, um, friendly. This exhibition features never-before-released correspondence between the two former presidents, including letters, telegrams and handwritten notes dating back to 1946—but only because Kennedy wasn't a Jew. 1-4 p.m. $3. Casa Romantica,415 Ave. Granada, San Clemente, (949) 498-2139.
You know who rules? America.You know who doesn't? Christopher Cross. He once got really mad at me (at Garden Grove's Strawberry Festival, oddly enough), when I asked him why he hadn't sung the theme from Greatest American Hero. He claimed it wasn't his song and then walked off all huffy-like. But considering he had played the theme from Growing Pains to which, in a Very Special Episode, Kirk Cameron had lost his pre-born-again cherry, you can't really blame me for pinning the Greatest American Hero theme on him. And actually, I still like the theme from Greatest American Hero. And help me out: Was that frizzy blond star the prom king from Carrie? I do so want it to be so! 8 p.m. All ages. $30-$57.50. Cerritos Center, 12700 Center Court Dr., Cerritos, (800) 300-4345; www.cerritoscenter.com.
And it's two events in a row from the Cerritos Center, because I am very, very lazy. So there you go. I saw Larry Gatlin sing at a big ol' Republican wedding once—a wedding that was so very mucketymuck, Karen Hughes gave the reading (from the Book of Ruth, which was lovely). Gatlin's voice was all cracked and wrecked in a really cool, seen-life way. So . . . if you can stand his actual songs, come on by the Cerritos Center for him and the rest of his Gatlin Brothers. I guess. 8 p.m. All ages. $25-$47. Cerritos Center, 12700 Center Court Dr., Cerritos, (800) 300-4345; www.cerritoscenter.com.