Diary of a Mad County

Monday, Aug. 15
Leisure World officials—"So what do you do?" "Me? I'm a Leisure World official." "Really? I'm a Candyland spokesperson, though I used to be a bikini inspector."—announce its five finalists in its search for a new name for the 40-year-old retirement community. The finalists are: Laguna Woods Estates, Saddleback Woods, Laguna Woods Village, Laguna Manors or Laguna Woods Resort. That's it? Out of more than 1,200 entries, that's the best they can do? Where's the creativity? I mean, is it just me, or do four of the five entries begin with Laguna and three of those contain Laguna Woods? This may be our Greatest Generation, but they suck at creative writing. This is all the more shocking given the crackerjack options I offered the contest. I mean, maybe I'm biased, but what would you rather have, Laguna Manors or Wrinkleton? Saddleback Woods or Osteopeoria? Laguna Woods Estates or You'regoingoutdressedlikethatville?

Tuesday, Aug. 16
It's funny because they're old.

slowery@ocweekly.com