Die for Famous Country Singers Oil

Aug. 11 - Aug. 18

Cake was . . . a band, kind of like 311, like one guy who liked hip-hop and two guys who were really into Primus, and then one guy who said, "Hey, my uncle is dating a girl who does A&R," and then for decades afterward, they all have Jacuzzis no matter what. At the HOB.

ALSO: Des Ark floats out of Engine Down's last show at Chain; Tom Petty keeps free falling at Verizon Wireless; probably should have interviewed the Cowboy Junkies for their show at the Coach House but spent too much time with actual junkies to make deadline; Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees appears slightly uncomfortable at 5:30 p.m. at Lake Forest's Pittsford Park—this is not a fake show.

Buy me a soda, buy me a soda, buy me a soda and try and molest me in the parking lot!

Catty headcases Dinosaur Jr. finally reunited once they didn't have enough energy to fight and enough money to pay their mortgages: this kept Sam and Dave together for years, just like it's keeping Oasis and the New York Dolls together now, and soon enough it will bring the Libertines back to us, trailing sticky saline bags and mispronouncing their own lyrics. Related news: one of the first shows I saw was Sebadoh in like 1994, and even then, Lou Barlow and Jason Loewenstein paused mid-set to dig up some good rocks from behind the stage—this is in Arizona, where concerts start only after all the rattlesnakes have been swept out—and whip them at each other's heads. You can imagine how disappointed I was when I actually listened to the Sebadoh tape I bought. At the Grove with the glory of Drunk Horse.

ALSO: Are plinky-plucky singer-songwriters Cass McCombs and Travis Graves (as Mt. Egypt) really quietly playing the Doubletree Hotel at 3050 Bristol in Costa Mesa tonight? This show probably isn't real, but if it was? You'd understand if I told you to go see Tom Waits at a hotel bar.

"If Osama Bin Laden ever buys a rap album that isn't Master P's Only God Can Judge Me," said the New York Daily News' gossip column last year, "he'll probably start with a CD by KRS-One," which wouldn't be a bad idea if you, like Bin Laden, don't know much about hip-hop but would like to learn more—Osama, also check out the Ultramagnetic MCs and K.M.D. if you get a chance, and see you at the Vault! Plus: this is KRS-One's 40th birthday, which probably makes Osama Bin Laden feel old. Related: in the same column, the News reported that Paris Hilton (per The OC's Mischa Barton) is a "racist plus an idiot," and certainly everyone knows she's probably kind of a cokehead, so around here, we call that . . . R.I.C.H.

ALSO: Cass McCombs and Travis Graves (as Mt. Egypt) actually play at Detroit: Cass just got off a tour with R.E.O. Pavement arena rockers Modest Mouse and maybe he'd like an experience that's a little more human.

Great new reality show this fall: Henry Rollins, Ian MacKaye and H.R. from Bad Brains all have to run a Baskin-Robbins in a crummy part of D.C. Salad Days—this fall on F/X, after H.R.'s promo tour at the Coach House. Related: last time H.R. came to town, he supposedly spent the entire set videotaping . . . himself. The Paris Hilton Sex Tape of hardcore!

ALSO: Innaway is nice; Brian Jonestown Massacre is crazy; only one will emerge alive from the wreckage of the Vanguard Theatre in Hollywood tonight.

PLUS: Buy me a soda!

See Calendarlistings for club locations. Also: be smart; call ahead.

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