Posted August 16 in the Year of our Lord, 2005—let's say, 2:41
THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE
While Cindy Sheehan continues to infuriate conservatives nationwide, another grieving parent of an Iraq War veteran will visit Orange County this month. Fernando Suarez del Solar will speak at SanTana's Therapeutic Arts Center on August 27 and talk about military recruitment in heavily-minority cities. He visits at the invite of OC Mujeres en Accion, a recently formed women's group monitoring recruitment practices at local high schools. For more info, call the Arts Center at (714) 547-5468. And for those who can't wait that long: a rally in support of Sheehan happens tomorrow at 7:30 p.m. at the Orange Circle. Love your country's freedom: go.
THIS SPORTING LIFE
1. It's official your Los Anaheim Angels' owner Arte Moreno is our brown-skinned God. Time just named him one of the 25 most influential Latinos in los Estados Unidos beating out such Orange County candidates as Lupe from Arrested Development and George Jaramillo. Time writer Sean Gregory describes Moreno as a seņor who's, "not only is the first Latino team owner in major U.S. sports but also is changing the rules of the game." While we're proud of Moreno, we're getting tired of the yearly obsession with Moreno's ethnicity. It was funny enough when Moreno wore a sombrero at the 2003 press conference announcing his purchase of the Angels from Disney, but he quickly tossed the stupid hat and started building a winner. He could have all the influence of a Hapsburg, but no one will give a mierda unless the Angels win—and they did last night (way to go, Erstad!)
2. Not winning is the football squad of my alma mater, Anaheim High School. Register columnist Marcia Smith drops by the school where I barely passed senior year to report my Colonists are decade-long losers. She gets to the heart of the decline of this "once-great program"—too many Mexican kids. Oh, Smith doesn't come out and say it, but when have you read an article on such other lackluster local prep football programs as Bolsa Grande or University explain their ineptitude on financial hardship, small size, family commitments and keeping a 2.0 GPA?
3. Yorba Linda can now claim another famous native son besides The Dick: Rip "The Ripper" Williams a champion racer of some car stock or other who's going for his 100th career victory this Saturday at the Perris Auto Speedway. My apologies, NASCAR nation, but what exactly is a "sprint car"? The long ones with parachutes at the end? The kind that take over Long Beach every summer? Or the tiny thing that cut me off near the 55/5 interchange just after lunch? Or was that a Geo?
Posted Agosto el 16, 10ish
REVENGE OF THE REG
We're coming up on our 10-year anniversary here at Weekly world headquarters and at each step, the Orange County Register has treated us like that lesion on your foot that just won't go away and so you ignore it in the hope that it will. There's an official policy at the Reg to not print the Weekly's name no matter the circumnstances and even if it means resorting to embarrassing allusions. And so, the shunning continues: yesterday, the Orange County Business Journal allocates editorial space so that the Reg can trump its "weekly magazine for savvy youth," as BizJo writer Jennifer Bellantonio puts it. "The goal," she writes, "give readers ideas about what to do around Orange County, including dining, art shows, cool hiking trails and live music events." In other words, what WE'VE BEEN DOING FOR A BLOODY DECADE. We're not going to give you the name of the glossy fishwrap, not because we're petty (which we are) but because Clockwork Coker mentioned it last week—so scroll down, click on last week's Clockwork entry, scroll down again and read it...did you read it? How cute, huh? SqueezeOC. And there's a
great ass there—you know, to squeeze? And an orange—to squeeze, get it? Yeah, that joke will get as tired as Steve Finley.
WE FINALLY SIDE WITH HOMOPHOBES
Yesterday, Orange County Superior Court Judge David Velasquez ruled the gay-hating St. James Church in Newport Beach can keep its property despite breaking off from the Episcopal Church. St. Jamers are angry that an Episcopal Church in New Hampshire ordained a gay man as bishop and argued their parish belonged to the congregation and not the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles, part of the worldwide Angilican Communion. We hope and pray Jesus will pay the St. James congregation in the afterlife for their intolerance but support Velasquez's ruling. See, the Catholic Diocese of Orange is preparing to close down parochial schools in poor neighborhoods so they can begin paying off the $100 million settlement they promised to sex-abuse victims of Catholic Church employees in January. If local Catholics are smart, they'll sue to keep the schools open. Then again, their sheep-like silence during this sex-abuse scandal doesn't inspire much confidence in this devotee of St. Jude Thaddeus.
HEADLINE OF THE MORNING
"SQUEEZE" The Most out of a Career in Advertising SALES"
--Job listing on Career Builder for the Reg's faux weekly. Warning to applicants who think they'll work in a "high-energy, fast-paced, start-up environment" "for this incredible new magazine": the Reg is also known to SQUEEZE pennies, SQUEEZE unions, and SQUEEZE your soul.
