A CLOCKWORK ORANGE


Posted Aug. 5
WHAT'S A COUPLE BILLION BETWEEN FIENDS
Those wingtips at the Orange County Business Journal are making us wait until Aug. 8 for the meat, but they do slyly tease us with details about their upcoming fifth list of Orange County's Wealthiest People. There are eight billionaires, the top 25 have a combined wealth of $28 billion and numero uno fuckero de richo remains Donald Bren. And the Irvine Co. chairman's the living embodiment of Monty Burns and Caleb Nichol. And he hates you. Okay, the ol' BJ didn't include anything in those last two sentences, but writer Michael Lyster does report that Bren is worth more than the economy of Brunei, and that the top 25 are richer than Luxembourg. Without the funny hats. And they hate you. That'd be the 25 richest hate you. Come to think of it, Luxembourgers hate you, too. God, you're pathetic.

In other local business developments, your intrepid reporter has learned, by stumbling onto the biz wires (who knew?), that four directors have quit in a huff from Newport Beach mega-developer William Lyon Co. They are General James Dalton(of the famous gang?), William McFarland (Family Guy?), Michael Meyer (Austin Powers?) and Randolph Westerfield (crappy shopping malls?). The directors apparently didn't take kindly to some smack thrown their way when General William Lyon (through his teeth?) was trying to take the company private, then dropped those plans.

Now back to our regular news about gays, strippers and boob enlargements.


LINK OF THE DAY
www.thehollywoodhappening.com/
Former Weekly Calendar editor Stacy Davies' new site. Go, now!!!


DAILY QUOTE-AHHHH...
"They always say, 'I don't want to be rude or disrespectful, but . . .' and I'm thinking, 'Well, it is rude.' I gave my brother a wink and he told them, 'He's not signing anything right now.' It happens almost every time I go out. I mean, if I'm just out with buddies, 99 percent of the time I'll sign something.'' --Matt Leinart, Heisman Trophy-winning USC quarterback by way of Mater Dei High School in Santa Ana and St. John the Baptist School in Costa Mesa (where he was a basketball star), on the price of fame, in the Torrance Daily Breeze. Leinart also said: "Living in Orange County, every dang alum or SC fan is everywhere you go. When I went home, it used to be like a safe haven."


YOU'VE BEEN SERVED. UH, NO YOU HAVEN'T
Weekly contributor Buddy Seigal passed this along to us. He founjd it on Country Joe MacDonald's website. "The former Marine remains a leftist veteran's activist to this day," Buddy informs. (Note to Buddy: I once called someone a "former Marine" in a story, and if that Marine could have grabbed my neck through the phone lines when he called after it ran, he would have, as he informed me, "There's no such thing as a 'former Marine.' You're a Marine for life!" Okay, okay, semper fi, brudder. Now back to former, er, "inactive" Marine Country Joe's item:

Recognizing Those Who Served
It is interesting to note who is willing to put his life on the line for what he believes in . . . and who is not. It's worth noting who really served among the heavyweights in each of the major political parties. Be sure to check out the bottom of the list where the people who spend their time jabbering about military service (the TV pundits) have their military credentials exposed. Read it and weep . . . for your country.

DEMOCRATS

Richard Gephardt: Air National Guard, 1965-71.
David Bonior: Staff Sgt., Air Force 1968-72.
Tom Daschle: 1st Lt., Air Force SAC 1969-72.
Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan. 1971 as an army journalist in 20th Engineer Brigade.
Bob Kerrey: Lt. j.g. Navy 1966-69; Medal of Honor, Vietnam.
Daniel Inouye: Army 1943-'47; Medal of Honor, WWII.
John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V Purple Hearts.
John Edwards: did not serve.
Charles Rangel: Staff Sgt., Army 1948-52; Bronze Star, Korea.
Max Cleland: Captain, Army 1965-68;Silver Star&Bronze Star,Vietnam.
Ted Kennedy: Army, 1951-1953.
Tom Harkin: Lt., Navy, 1962-67; Naval Reserve, 1968-74.
Jack Reed: Army Ranger, 1971-1979; Captain, Army Reserve 1979-91.
Fritz Hollings: Army officer in WWII, receiving the Bronze Star and seven campaign ribbons.
Leonard Boswell: Lt. Col., Army 1956-76; Vietnam, DFCs, Bronze Stars, and Soldier's Medal.
Pete Peterson: Air Force Captain, POW. Purple Heart, Silver Star and Legion of Merit.
Mike Thompson: Staff sergeant, 173rd Airborne, Purple Heart.
Bill McBride: Candidate for Fla. Governor. Marine in Vietnam; Bronze Star with Combat V.
Gray Davis: Army Captain in Vietnam, Bronze Star.
Pete Stark: Air Force 1955-57.
Chuck Robb: Vietnam.
Howell Heflin: Silver Star.
George McGovern: Silver Star & DFC during WWII.
Bill Clinton: Did not serve. Student deferments. Entered draft but received 311.
Jimmy Carter: Seven years in the Navy.
Walter Mondale: Army 1951-1953.
John Glenn: WWII and Korea; six DFCs and Air Medal with 18 Clusters.
Tom Lantos: Served in Hungarian underground in WWII. Saved by Raoul Wallenberg.
Wesley Clark: U.S. Army, 1966-2000, West Point, Vietnam, Purple Heart, Silver Star. Retired 4-star general.
John Dingell: WWII vet.
John Conyers: Army 1950-57, Korea.

REPUBLICANS

Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
Tom Delay: did not serve.
House Whip Roy Blunt: did not serve.
Bill Frist: did not serve.
Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
George Pataki: did not serve.
Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
Rick Santorum: did not serve.
Trent Lott: did not serve.
Dick Cheney: did not serve. Several deferments, the last by marriage.
John Ashcroft: did not serve. Seven deferments to teach business.
Jeb Bush: did not serve.
Karl Rove: did not serve.
Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. "Bad knee." The man who attacked Max Cleland's patriotism.
Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
Vin Weber: did not serve.
Richard Perle: did not serve.
Douglas Feith: did not serve.
Eliot Abrams: did not serve.
Richard Shelby: did not serve.
Jon Kyl: did not serve.
Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
Christopher Cox: did not serve.
Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
Don Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as aviator and flight instructor.
George W. Bush: six-year Nat'l Guard commitment (incomplete).
Ronald Reagan: due to poor eyesight, served in a non-combat role making movies.
Gerald Ford: Navy, WWII
Phil Gramm: did not serve.
John McCain: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross.
Bob Dole: an honorable veteran.
Chuck Hagel: two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star, Vietnam.
Jeff Sessions: Army Reserves, 1973-1986.
JC Watts: did not serve.
Lindsey Graham: National Guard lawyer.
G.H.W. Bush: Pilot in WWII. Shot down by the Japanese.
Tom Ridge: Bronze Star for Valor in Vietnam.
Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
Clarence Thomas: did not serve.

PUNDITS AND PREACHERS

Sean Hannity: did not serve.
Rush Limbaugh: did not serve (4-F with a "pilonidal cyst.")
Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.
Michael Savage: did not serve.
George Will: did not serve.
Chris Matthews: did not serve.
Paul Gigot: did not serve.
Bill Bennett: did not serve.
Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
Bill Kristol: did not serve.
Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
Michael Medved: did not serve.

INSTA-CLOCKWORK REACTION: Can we trade Clinton for McCain? And by "we" I mean Republicans, my party of registration. And, no, I didn't serve either.

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