By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Illustration by Bob AulMom: I know you read the Weekly, and you believe everything they write. So please listen. I think I should get my belly button pierced because when you have your belly pierced, people notice you more and it makes you more approachable. I also think that I would look cute. One thing you may be thinking is I'm not responsible enough and I won't take care of it. But I take care of my pierced ears really well, and the only reason I get infections is because of the type of earrings I wear. So I've learned not to wear rusty earrings. You may also be thinking that you don't want your daughter parading around looking like a slut. But belly rings are only slutty if you make them slutty. I don't walk around with my thong hanging out, and I don't show too much skin either. I only take my shirt off in public when I'm on the deck and that's because I'm at home. If you let me get my belly pierced, you won't need to pay me back for all the money that you took from me because this means more to me than money. Please take my argument into consideration. I think I make some good points, so please please please please please please let me get my belly pierced.
P.S.: I know a lot of people who have their bellies pierced and they say that it was a good thing and they don't regret it at all. Did I mention it would look really cute?
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