July 28 - Aug. 4

Thurs/July 28
Hey, remember 1992? Barely? Me, too! But I do remember driving around in the BMWmy friend Lara's parents gave her for her high school graduation, going to all her drug-dealer-gangster boyfriends' houses for coke (for Lara!) and screeching, as only 18-year-old girls can do, along with every word sung by Arrested Development. The band, not the most excellent TV show. 7 p.m. $25-$30. All ages. Vault 350, 350 Pine Ave., Long Beach, (888) 80-VAULT; www.vault350.com.


Fri
Wanda
Sykesis funny. You don't think so? Fine. Say it to her face. 8:30 & 10:30 p.m. $30. IrvineImprov,71FortuneDr.,Ste.841,Irvine,(949)854-5455.


Sat
Yes, I knowChrisIsaakis playing the fair, but I'm out of town this weekend anyway, and even if I wasn't, the past seven times I've seen him, he's neglected to fall in love with me, so you know what I say? I say he's fired! BOYCOTT! Head over to Koo'sArtCenterinstead, for a 21+ fund-raiser for the all-ages space. StyleWarsis a fashion show by snotty little art brats responding to "mass-produced commercial goods by independent artists who deconstruct and reinvent fashion." I modeled in one of those once, in Santa Ana's Santiago Street studios. They put me in a glittery potato sack, and somebody else got to ride on a dogsled pulled by boys in banana hammocks. So . . . I would expect something like that. Also? There's wine! 7-11 p.m. $10. 21+. Koo'sArtCenter,530E.Broadway,LongBeach,(562)491-7584.


Sun
Come say goodbye to universal heartthrob/poet/rock star/delicious snack cake Derrick Brown, who's moving to Tennessee, at DerrickBrownLeavesTown!With performances by All Black Cinema; Lassie Foundation; Greater California; DJ Soul-O. 8 p.m. Call for cover. 21+. Basement Lounge, 149 Linden Ave., Long Beach, (562) 901-9090; www.basementlounge.com.


Mon
Svelte
gets slinky as culinaryARCHITECTSpresents CulinarySound(because food tastes better with music). The tapas menu's terrific, and when I was there last week, it segued from classic French lounge to DavidBowieand back again. DJDannyLove(a snack cake in his own right) resides. 7:30-11:30 p.m. Free. Svelte, 440 Heliotrope Ave., Corona del Mar, (949) 723-9685. Private parties: rsvp@dannylove.com.

Tues
Tegan
andSaraare like darling little Canadian lesbians, except I'm not sure they're Canadian and I don't think they're lesbians. I don't really know their music that well, except everything I've heard I've liked a lot—crunchy guitars with lilting little voices and snazzy, pissed-off lyrics that remind me (but weirder and more literary) of Alanis Morissette's"YouOughta Know," which really was a kick-ass song, even though she followed it up with "Ironic." With someone called Communique. 9 p.m. $13-$15. Mouse House of Blues, 1530 S. Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 778-2583.


Wed
I could spend all day quoting ViolentFemmeslyrics at you, and you probably deserve it. But I won't 'cause I'm all merciful and shit. I took my son to a Femmes show once when he was, like, 6, and some drunk 30-year-old slut was all up on his jock. Maybe you could find a girl like that. My good friends the WaxApplesopen. 8 p.m. $30-$32.50. All ages. MouseHouseofBlues,1530S.DisneylandDr.,Anaheim,(714)778-2583.

Thurs/Aug 4
I could spend all day quoting BoogieNightsdialogue at you, but I won't, because the most excellent movie doesn't have anything to do with BoogieNightsat the world-famous gay (but straight-girl-friendly) club the Boom Boom Room. Unless they play Night Ranger. That would not only be like the movie, but it would also be cool. Call for time and cover. Boom Boom Room, 1401 S. Coast Hwy., Laguna Beach, (949) 494-7588.

 
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