Diary of a Mad County


Saturday, July 23
Off.


Sunday, July 24
In a Sunday NewYorkTimespiece, military officials and soldiers say they are frustrated by the American public's lack of support: "'There is no serious talk of a draft to share the burden of fighting across the broad citizenry, and neither Republicans nor Democrats are pressing for a tax increase to force Americans to cover the $5 billion a month in costs from Iraq, Afghanistan and new counterterrorism missions. There are not even concerted efforts like the savings-bond drives or gasoline rationing that helped to unite the country behind its fighting forces in wars past. Nobody in America is asked to sacrifice, except us,' said one officer just back from a yearlong tour in Iraq." Stung and ashamed, I go right out and purchase a plasticswimmingpoolfor my dog—it may get into the low 80s today—and a new, more expensive, brand of moisturizer for my face. SemperFi!


Monday, July 25
UC Irvine sociologists CalvinMorrilland DavidSnowannounce today that they have found that many people are able to develop close emotional relationships with strangersin public places, whether those places are at parks, on public transportation or with strippers at strip clubs. Their findings will be published in detail in their forthcoming book Quick Change: 'Yeah, Can I Get 20 One-Dollar Bills?'While their research finds that people strike up relationships in myriad public situations, the only one anyone cares about is the relationship between strippers and their customers. Researchers found that the most successful strippers weren't necessarily the sexiest, but those best able to simulate social intimacy with their customers, while less successful strippers smelled like feet. . . . Doing some sexy researchof their own, the grand jury indicts former Assistant Sheriff GeorgeJaramillotoday on seven counts of bribery, conspiracy and conflicts of interest. Jaramillo claims that he is the target of a conspiracy that doesn't want him to rise to Sheriff. Prosecutors say Jaramillo rose to have socialintimacywith his sister-in-law, whom the grand jury called his "long-term sexual partner," and a porn star—when did porn stars become the linchpin of our judicial system? Jaramillo has no comment on his indictment, though he does ask if anyone has change for a $20 bill.


Tuesday, July 26
Nordstrom
is having a sale. Feeling pretty defiant; think I'll buy a suit.


slowery@ocweekly.com

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