KILL YOUR FANS

July 21 - July 28

TUESDAY
Mötley Crüe
: You guys are basically zoo animals now, you know? Kill your fans because they say they love you, but they all laugh later. Also: tour with Cheap Trick. At Verizon.

WEDNESDAY
Garbage
and HotHotHeatplay the OC Fair, which has reinvented itself as probably the hippest county fair in America—it's pretty much got a better lineup than the Siren Festival in NYC—and which will probably book Lou Reed next year. Or the White Stripes. Seriously: Beck, the Decemberists, Hot Hot Heat, Garbage, X, the Plimsouls and the Psychedelic Furs make for a pretty credible MySpace profile if you're trying to bait a mopey sex partner with a messenger bag and half a communications major at OCC, and yet . . . that's the county fair. Usually at county fairs, you rope goats for scholarship money and then eat kettle corn before Tobey Keith goes on. Sadly, since this is OC, no one will notice or care and our disillusioned fair coordinators will probably quit in disgust, their good works forgotten when the 2007 OC Fair—theme: "Orange: It's Red Hot!"—returns to a more traditional schedule with Sugar Ray, ZZ Top, and a band that covers Journey and Blink 182, all of whom will be appearing at the LA County Fair in September.

THURSDAY
The WhiteStripessecret-till-someone-got-on-AIM show at the Glass House, where Jack White could personally congratulate Chris Ziegler on the only honest review his new album has received. "It's important for writers to offer clear and thoughtful feedback on any sort of creative work," Jack might say. "I think what we're really both after is something meaningful and lasting, and I'm happy that someone tells it like it is. And I understand that he's obligated to make a lot of drug and bathroom jokes just to drag readers in Orange County to the bottom of the page. Fart!"

PLUS: FloggingMollydrags drunks to the OC Fair; Arrested Development(the rappers, not, like, Will Arnett) at the Vault; DJ Pubesat club L_ephunkat Detroit.

See Calendar listings for club locations. Also: be smart; call ahead.

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