Diary of a Mad County

Monday, July 18
"Hi Steve, it's Ellen [Griley]." "Hi, sweetheart, what's up?" "I was just calling to see if [Weekly photo editor] Tenaya [Hills] sent you that photo of Tom Cruiseand KatieHolmeson the cover of NewYorkmagazine." "Yeah, yeah, I saw it. Very funny." "I thought it would go great with Diary." "Yeah, Tenaya wrote that in her e-mail too. It's just that I'm not writing anything about them." "Oh, because it would be soooogreat." "Oh, I know, I know, it'd be great. But it's just that I can't think of anything new to say." ". . . soooofunny." "Oh, I know, but, you know, everyone's writing about them and I just don't . . ." "Tenaya thinks it'd be funny too." "So do I, so do I, but . . ." "Have you seen the picture?" "Oh, yeah, you sent it to me. Twice." "Isn't it funny?" "Oh, it's totally funny." "I think it would be soooofunny in Diary." "Well, lemme see what I can do." "Well, only if you want." "Well, like I said, I really can't think of . . ." "Have you seen the picture?" "Yeah. Twice." "Soooo funny."

Tuesday, July 19
News comes that General William Westmorelandhas died. Westmoreland is saddled with losing the war in Vietnam, which isn't fair, and later sued CBS for reporting he messed with enemy troop strength and casualty numbers to increase support for the war. Thank heavens we've moved past that. Anyway, I'm reminded that, years ago, when I was thinking of doing standup, a friend of mine insisted I open my act by saying, "Hi, everybody, I'm General William Westmoreland and I want to thank all 50,000 of you for coming out tonight." Yeah. New friends.

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