By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Shit. They'll probably think I'm some bimbo broadcastjournalist or something. I'm mortified, appalled and humiliated.
I'm humiliated like Richard Riordan on Jay Leno's soundstage. I'm humiliated like Schwarzenegger's erstwhile friend, the one whose wife he publicly banged. I'm humiliated like any number of women held down and molested on rowdy movie sets—or even the British talk show host he manhandled.
I'm still not bothering to put allegedly.
(And I still find that to be particularly well-put.)
I'm humiliated, and I'm out of there.
I should have gone to Fresno.