EIGHT DAYS

Thurs/June 2
Baby, you so sophisticated! Put on your monocle and your opera gloves and head to the IrvineBarclayfor the SaintJosephBalletpresenting MoreLife.BethBurns,the ballet's founder, is retiring in June after 22 years at the school, so some alumni (doubtless still apple-polishing after all these years) perform Unearthing,DreamChildand MiCorazonCanta,some of the works she choreographed. Afterwards, head home and take a page from JohnMellencamp:he likes you to dance naked. 8 p.m. $20-$45; children 12 and under, $10-$22.50. IrvineBarclayTheatre,4242CampusDr.,Irvine,(949) 854-4646;WWW.THEBARCLAY.ORG.

Fri
In New York City, the French restaurant run by one of the city's finer culinary institutes is called "L'Ecole," which means "the school." Clever, eh? I have been there, on very expensive dates. Here, LagunaCulinaryArtskeeps it realer with FridayNightHappyHour.In addition to complimentary appetizers, small plates of the evening's featured dish can be yours for $3. Wines by the glass available, 5-7 p.m. LagunaCulinaryArts,845LagunaCanyonRd.,LagunaBeach,(949)494-4006.

Sat
Huntington Beach's TheOfficehas some of the loosest, most fun art openings around. Check out the reception for NoahThomas'"Veneer," a mixed media and sound installation that alters the gallery so that the viewer is "challenged to consider how they encounter interior space." I loveconsidering how I encounter interior space! Plus, there's cheese, wine and often cookies! I lovecheese, wine and often cookies! Reception for the artist, 6-9 p.m. TheOffice,5122BolsaAve.,Ste.110,HuntingtonBeach,(714)767-5861.

Sun
Okay, so it's yet another HomeworldHome&GardenShow.But did those others feature the FriskiesCatTeam???They shoot hoops, play SimonSaysand run an obstacle course. Performance times vary. You know what I like to do with cats? I like to eat them, in my soup. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. AnaheimConventionCenter,800W.KatellaAve.,Anaheim,(714)765-8950.

Mon
Did you forget to celebrate MemorialDaylast week, just because I forgot to remind you? People, I don't need that kind of pressure. So why don't we just agree to celebrate Memorial Day today instead? Yes? Yes.

Tues
Apparently HenryWinklerhas written a book called SummerSchool!WhatGeniusThoughtThatUp?That sounds funny! I do not recommend going to the discussion and book signing and saying "Aaaaayyyyyyy!" (I think he's heard that quite enough), but I do recommend going to the discussion and book signing while dressed as LeatherTuscadero.Of course, I always recommend dressing as Leather Tuscadero, but that's neither here nor there. 7 p.m. Barnes&Noble,7881EdingerAve.,HuntingtonBeach,(714)897-8781.

Wed
I hate poetry. It's boring, and I hate it. I hate the people who write it and the people who like to listen to it soulfully declaimed.

Except.

I do not hate DerrickBrown,who along with CindyAlexanderis the guest tonight at TwoIdiotsPeddlingPoetry.Derrick Brown, as every thirtysomething woman in the county is aware, is yummy, and he is fine. And his poetry is stupid-sexytoo. Sign up, 7:30 p.m.; reading, 8 p.m. $2. UglyMugCaffe,261N.GlassellSt.,Orange,(714)997-5610.

Thurs/June 9
Got $350 just burning through your well-stuffed pocket? Me neither! But if you did, you might go to the SurfAidSummerSoiree,with cocktails, music, a silent auction, and MinnieDriver,all to benefit relief aid to Indonesia. JackJohnson'ssupposed to show too. He's nice on the eyes. Do you have $350 now? 6:30 p.m. $350. BalboaBayClub&Resort,1221W.CoastHwy.,NewportBeach,(858)705-3206;WWW.SURFAIDINTERNATIONAL.ORG.

 
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