Illustration by Bob AulMe: the frequent female patron of the bar. You: the Napoleon-syndrome bouncer that kicked me out. I'm always at that bar, and when I am there and see a group of guys sitting around the only hallway through the place, constantly harassing all the girls by grabbing their asses and mimicking jerking off, I have the right to get pissed! Any place would have thrown those assholes out, but you, with your giant ego, kicked me out because I had no right to speak since I didn't walk through to get my ass grabbed and because those guys are paying customers. I hadn't realized I wasn't a paying customer! I guess I should bring in all my receipts for reimbursement. And I call bullshit on you claiming you would think it funny if they did that to your girlfriend! You really are a pencil-dick prick!
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.