TUESDAY, APRIL 5 A group of parents, dopes, people with nothing better to do, ignorami and Chuck DeVoreare all upset that author EricSchlosserwill be speaking as part of the Newport Beach Public Library Foundation's Distinguished Speakers Lecture series on April 15 and 16. They are especially upset that Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation, will be taking part in a mentor session for high school students since he is also the author of Reefer Madness—and the fear is he will soon be rolling big fatties for the kids as happened years before in a regrettable incident involving Eudora Welty. Apparently, the critics are also afraid Schlosser will encourage the students to read since Reefer Madnessis not about drugs per se, but rather a look at the three largest moneymakers of the underground American economy: drugs, porn and illegal immigrants. In an OrangeCountyRegisterstory about the flap, parents admitted they had never actually read Schlosser's book, as did first term Assemblyman DeVore who said, "I typically don't spend my time reading books like that." This explains why he also hasn't read MobyDick, Puss'NBoots, GoingMyWayand LeoTolstoyPresents:TightButtsDriveMeNuts. DeVore, who so far has done the people's business by proposing an end to conjugal visits in state prisons and pushing legislation to allow the residents of ElMorroVillagemobile-home park to remain in Crystal Cove for another 30 years with a sweetheart deal at the expense of opening up a public beach to the public, apparently also doesn't typically spend his time reading conflict-of-interest pamphlets since the El Morro folks, mostly RobertoBrutocaoof El Morro Village Inc., gave $74,000 to DeVore's campaign, of which Brutocao was finance chairman. While not much of a reader, he was the inspiration for the highly successful Idiot'sGuideseries.