Are You Looking at My Tits?

Photo by Jay FraleyTheneedforheterosexualstounderstandthe opposite sex is a timeless theme that will just notgoaway,no matter how much some of us wish it would. It's a complex problem that consumes most men and women, and in Rebecca Gilman's BoyGetsGirl,the playwright explores the question most prevalent in hetero minds for the past 30 years: Are women conditioned to seek objectification, thereby giving men permission to objectify them? The answer is not easily attainable, so Gilman doesn'tanswer—instead offering moreMars vs. Venus ruminations such as: Do men think they know you because they like your ass? Do women want male ass with personality? Or something like that.

Leading us through this mire of straight confusion is Theresa Bedell (Jenn Carnett), a smart and somewhat sassy writer for TheWorldmagazine who goes on a blind date with seemingly average Tony (David Pond). He's immediately into her; she's immediately not. But Theresa is "conditioned" by society to accept all flattery and be polite about it, so she goes on a second date. This time, she plays the "it's not you, it's me" card to get rid of Tony; unfortunately, Tony is a nutjob. He calls her repeatedly, filling up her answering machine, sends her flowers every day, and shows up unexpectedly at her work offering her a psychoanalysis of why she's so afraid of getting close to someone. In short, Tony does what all males are told to do in every romantic chick flick ever made. Except that he eventually turns violent.

Theresa gets a restraining order, and has philosophical conversations with her male boss and male coworker—two niceguys—about her conditioned female failings, and she conducts some antagonistic interviews with a Russ Meyer-esque filmmaker, Les Kennkat (a hilarious Dee Fitzgerald), who likes to make films about women with watermelon-sized boobs.

It's all very long, and the insights are few. Perhaps we're supposed to discuss it on the drive home with our partners, but the only logic that emerges is that there are creepy men and creepy women out there, so beware. Oh, and don't let any more guys see WhenHarryMetSally—justrent them a titty flick, please.

BOY GETS GIRL, PRESENTED BY RUDE GUERRILLA AT THE EMPIRE THEATER, 200 N. BROADWAY, SANTA ANA, (714) 547-4688. THURS., MARCH 24 & 31, AND FRI.-SAT., 8 P.M.; SUN., 2:30 P.M. THROUGH APRIL 2. $10-$20.