Low Ball Ass Chatter

If it's March, then it's time for the annual migration of OC/Long Beach bands to Austin, Texas, for the music-industry wank-o-rama/booze-'n'-barbecue orgy that is South By Southwest (SXSW). This year's contingent making the Central Standard Time zone trek to play "official" showcases (not counting parties, record-shop in-stores or barely legal sidewalk gigs) includes Layton, Trespassers William, the Valley Arena, Fielding, Starvations, JamisonParker, Richard Swift, the Aquabats (part of a bill sponsored by the Huntington Beach-based Nitro label), LMNO, Melee, HelloGoodbye, Sinai Beach, the Willowz and the ever-fabulous Limbeck. They'll join some 1,300 other bands and musician types from around the world—some legendary (Elvis Costello! Robert Plant!), some legendary for dubious reasons (Billy Idol! Vanilla Ice!) and some legendary only in their minds (goofiest band names: Holy Fuck, Million Dollar Marxists, Apostle of Hustle, the Telepathic Butterflies, Feable Weiner, the Awesome Cool Dudes . . . we could go on). It's all about getting noticed by people who could help take your music to another level (and waking up in a Sixth Street gutter with puke running down your shirt—and not even your own puke, either), but this year, there's one way your band could reallyget famous and quick: MTV's TheRealWorldis currently taping its new season in Austin, and according to several websites, the cast's "job" is to make a documentary on SXSW. Look for the roaming camera crews, and annoy them ceaselessly by stuffing fliers in their faces or, even better, set up outside the RealWorldhouse—located downtown at 302 San Jacinto Blvd., we hear—and play as loud as you can till the cops shut you down or a RWroomie drunkenly demands you have sex with them. Max exposure is assured!