God Smack

Know your Bible! Except for the written parts!

At least he's a social liberal, right? And it's not like he would follow the trend du jour of permitting pharmacists to not dispense your prescription for thePillif they don't like them no birth control. (Note to RalphReed:y'all went all stealth with the school boards in the '80s; I'm thinking the time is ripe for you guys to stack the pharmacology colleges!) Arkansas, South Dakota and most recently Mississippi have all explicitly made it legal for pharmacists and doctors to refuse to dispense or prescribe the Pill. That might not mean much here, but try going to Fuck-All,Kansas,where there's one pharmacist, and he's related by marriage to the ReverendFredPhelps.

But then there Schwarzenegger is, cutting education and fucking seniors and breaking every promise he's ever made (and some that he hadn't, for good measure)—all so you could get your $130 car tax back.

And that, somehow, brings me back to babies. I think.

I'm all for babies. I'm even pro-life (just ask some of the thoughtful pro-choice kids who think there's too much oxygen on this planet if I'm still breathing—that, young, pissed-off friends, is the kind of thing AnnCoultersays). I believe the children are our future, even. And right now everyone'spregnant: TallDrinkofWaterCherGreenleaf;my sister Sarah(with twins!); my colleague NickSchou'slovely wife, Claudia;ShawnJones(wife of the devil-worshiping son of a preacher man); even MayravSaarat TheOrangeCountyRegisteris preparing for the birth of some Regspawn.

No point to that. Just a shout-out.

So what's with all our fine friends on the other side of the aisle loving children so much they'll shield their ears from the loneliest stray fuckand their eyes from breasts like the ones that nurtured them, and then chopping education and health care for kids and daycare? I guess they love their children—like AlanKeyesand his out daughter, Maya—untilthey catch the Gay. Thine left eye offendeth thee, Alan? Well, pluck it out, dude! See? I do, too, know my Word.

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