!Ask a Mexican!

Illustration by Mark DancyDear Mexican,

My friend and I were wondering why Mexican girls are so beautiful when they are teenagers, then over the years, they become fat, old bags?

Mark M.

Costa Mesa

Dear Gabacho,

Get your facts straight. Women raised in Mexico who migrate here maintain their beauty forever—check out pictures of silent-film goddess Dolores del Río, who gave men palos even into her 80s. Their hijas, on the other hand, are the ones who blow up into blimps. The difference? A Mexican mom's 18-hour workday—the mopping and kid-rearing for other families and hers, the factory-working, and the husband's lunch preparing—keeps the flab off; any thickness is muscle earned from repetitive work that would crumble a weightlifter. The daughters, meanwhile, are as American as you, gabacho: they're spoiled, fat asses who party hard, overeat and don't do quehaceres (chores) after coming home from a day at the office or Chicano Studies class because they have a Mexican to do it—their mami.

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at garellano@ocweekly.com.

 
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