Be all blue state and get some art on you. Be on the lookout for nakedness—and be sure to report it to the proper authorities—at Laguna Beach's First Thursday's Art Walk. Downtown Laguna Beach, mostly along N. Coast Hwy.
36-24-36? Only if she's five-foot-three! Sir-Mix-A-Lot likes his women like Flo-Jo, so come on and shake that, shake that, shake that juicy butt. Don't worry if "Baby Got Back" is the only Sir Mix-A-Lot song you know; nobody else in The Vault's crowd of makin'-time frat boys knows any others, either. With Young MC. Don't just stand there: bust a move! 7 p.m. $20. All ages. Vault 350, 350 Pine Ave., Long Beach, (888) 80-VAULT; www.vault350.com.
Don't worry: there are plenty of things to do tonight. It's just that I bet Marcia Wallace (The Bob Newhart Show, voice of Mrs. Krabapple) is super-ultra-intelligent and -interesting even when someone else isn't writing for her. Watch her speak on the hilarious topics of love, laughter and the early detection of cancer at the California Writers Club meeting. 10 a.m. Downey Savings, 201 W. Bastanchury Rd., Fullerton, (714) 871-7322; www.calwritersorangecounty.org.
When's the last time you went to church, Hellbound?
According to the newest edition of that one party e-mail that those guys put out (the ones who always let us know when Newport's gonna have a sobriety checkpoint), there's a charity show at Sutra. One of them's even going to be the MC. What charity? Beats me. How much is it? I don't know. What time? Eh. But you should be doing something for others as you struggle mightily to get laid. Sutra, 1870 Harbor Blvd., Ste. A200, Costa Mesa, (949) 722-7103.
You should definitely go see the 'billy stylings of Lee Rocker, Big Sandy & His Fly Rite Boys, and The Vaquetonesat the Mouse House of Blues. But if I were you and you were me, I'd go to the Men's Divorce and Separation Group at Jewish Family Service. Because seriously, to me, that sounds like a blast. And I mean that. I wish I were less weird. Lee Rocker at the House of Blues, 1530 S. Disneyland Dr., Anaheim, (714) 778-2583., 7:30 p.m. $12. All ages; Men's Divorce and Separation Group, Jewish Family Service, Federation Way, Ste. 220, Irvine, (714) 445-4950. Preregistration required. 7 p.m.
I haven't yet been because I'm poor, poor, poor, but maybe next week I'll be able to afford Zipangu!—Japanese fusion cuisine, authentic sushi, lounge and bar. (Or maybe they should call me. . . .) Every Wednesday, they've got who I'm sure is the world's coolest Japanese dude (as opposed to every Japanese dude because they're all the world's coolest Japanese dudes) spinning music! Dude, the "sound resident" is Mitsuo Masuda, and the "culinary resident" is Mitsuo Okura. That is what being rich is for. (That, and $5 per pound tomatoes.) 8:30 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Zipangu at the Lab, 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa, (714) 545-2800.
Do you like reggae? No? Me either! But I really think we have to give Irie Reggae Thursdays some special props of irie for making it to their One Year Anniversary Show, featuring Dakeye and the Detour Posse as well as many special guests! Always live original reggae music—and always irie!!! At Kozmos!!! $7; ladies free before 9:30 p.m. 21+. Kozmos,17208 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach, (310) 809-5810.