!Ask a Mexican!

Illustration by Mark DancyDear Mexican,

My Spanish class is wondering if Mexicans celebrate Hanukkah? We're researching religions and found nothing on Hanukkah, so I decided to ask you. Are there Jews in Mexico?

Sammi Snyder

Washington

Dear Gabacha,

Spanish class? In Washington? Did Vicente Fox suddenly become president of Canada? Chula, Jews own Mexico. That's why Mexicans are so anti-Semitic: a 2002 study by the Anti-Defamation League found that 44 percent of foreign-born Latinos hated Jews, by far the largest percentage among ethnic groups in the United States. Mexicans don't even try to hide their hymie-hating. For instance, when a Mexican thinks someone is a slob, we call the person a cochino marrano—a dirty Jew. And don't believe your Spanish teacher when she pulls out the Webster's and reads that marrano means "pig"—Webster's doesn't know mierda about Spanish etymology. "Marrano" does mean pig but was also the term used to ridicule Jews who hid their beliefs in order to survive the Spanish Inquisition. Oh, and Mexicans do celebrate Hanukkah, but we light policemen instead of menorahs.

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