He Likes Bush

Illustration by Bob AulMy wife had a sticker on the back window of her car that read, "Impeach Bush." We were shopping in Hollywood this past weekend after going to a concert, and we came out to her car to find that you, a dickless, Dubya-loving sheep, had scratched most of the sticker off her car! Oh, but it gets better. Here's the really good part: this happened in the parking lot of an adult-oriented store that is owned and operated by a well-known, wheelchair-bound adult-magazine publisher who also happened to be one of the many candidates running for governor of California during the recall a while back. (I think we can all figure out which store I'm referring to.) The Christian right? Morality-based voters? Family values? What on earth, pray tell, was one of President Chimpy's fine, upstanding moral crusaders doing at such an evil, naughty establishment? Oh, the irony! It's absolutely priceless. And what did you prove, assclown? Not only that you hate my right to freedom of speech and you condone vandalism, but also that you are most likely a hypocrite! In any event, my wife and I have spent the past four days laughing at you—thanks for the free entertainment, chump! P.S. Oh, darn, I might have to drop $1.25 for a new sticker! Ha, ha, ha!

—Anonymous

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com.