!Ask a Mexican!

Illustration by Mark DancyDear Mexican,

Why do Mexicans litter so much? In other words, why are they such pigs?

Anonymous

Dear Gabacho,

Don't you watch television? Mexicans aren't pigs—they're burros. No, wait—chihuahuas. Excuse me—rats. Mexicans are Yosemite Sam-evading rats. And many rats make their living cleaning up the garbage of others. After a day of wiping the feces-laden culos of Newport Beach babies, washing cars, digging up weeds, mopping floors or carting out the El Torito dinner buffet, you think that Mexicans want to come and plan how to tidy up their houses and streets? Do carpenters call it a day and carve boxes in bed? You shouldn't expect us to keep our casas spick-and-span—that's what the Guatemalans are for.

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