By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
Thurs/Nov 25 Hey, men! Guess what? Today you will do the dishes, and you will do them well.
That includes wiping the counters and sweeping the floor. Because it would be nice, and she would love you for once in your life not being a prick. (You may leave the worst pots to soak.)
Fri Don't forget to buy nothing today, and don't forget to skip Clay Aiken at the OC Performing Arts Center. (What were they thinking? I do not know.) While not forgetting to not do both those things, have yourself a disco nap and a nice dinner, and then head to The Midnight Show With Lance and Luna. It's at midnight! Which means you can feel like you're 17 again! With fire-eating magicians and folk-rock superstars delving "deep into the realms of local wackiness." Can you stand the fun? It's doubtful! Midnight! $5-$8. The Insurgo Theater Movement, 4883 E. La Palma, Ste. 506, Anaheim, (714) 517-7798.
Sat Because this one is at midnight, too! God, that is so cool! The Insurgo Theater Movement strikes again with Cherry Spitz Fanclub, a new improv show by Cherry Spitz. Yay! Reservations recommended. $5-$8. The Insurgo Theater Movement, 4883 E. La Palma, Ste. 506, Anaheim, (714) 517-7798.
Sun Now, you may shop. Brave the crowds at the Sawdust Festival if you want to buy some overpriced pretties (some of the dresses and jewelry really are lovely, but really, I swear, don't wear nice shoes). 10 a.m.-6 p.m. $2-$4.50. Sawdust Festival, 935 Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach, (949) 494-3030; www.sawdustartfestival.org.
Or skip it and head to The Eight: Reindeer Monologues at Chance Theater. Yeah, it sounds better to me, too! 'Cause you know there's nothing I like better than amateur theater. 6 p.m. $15-$25. The Chance Theater, 5552 E. La Palma Ave., Anaheim, (714) 777-3033.
Mon Don't know who Mosaic are, but Sarah Overall is a bitchen singer/songwriter, and Eugene Edwards is just pretty and rock & rolly. Really can't go wrong. 9 p.m. Call for cover. 21+. Blue Cafť, 210 The Promenade, Long Beach, (562) 983-7111; www.thebluecafe.com.
Tues Wil Wheaton, star of Stand By Me and one of those Star Trek series as well as one of the first bloggers (!), signs and discusses his book Just a Geek—Unflinchingly Honest Tales of the Search for Life, Love, and Fulfillment Beyond the Starship Enterprise. Hey, girls who had his Teen Beat picture in your locker in 1986: I bet if you want him, he would be yours. Look what happened with that freak whose lifelong dream it was to marry Corey Feldman! (For the record, unlike Corey Feldman, Wil Wheaton is interesting and smart and not a loser.) 7 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 7777 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 897-8781.
Wed This "no-holds-barred" question-and-answer debate and luncheon features Art Torres (who is hilarious—and often drunk!) and Duf Sundheim, chairmen of the California Democratic and Republican parties (respectively). God, this stuff is like crack to me! I WILL SEE YOU THERE! 11:30 a.m. $48; members, $30. World Affairs Council of Orange County, Irvine Marriott Hotel, 18000 Von Karman Ave., Irvine, (949) 253-5751.
Thurs/Dec 2 Pretend for a moment that you would actually like to spend Christmas in San Clemente. I know: it's full of meth and terrible drunks and people who should be attractive but aren't. But here, this "seasonal soufflť of Yuletide music and cheer," is community theater at its finest. And you gotta be there for opening night! Call for show times. $15. Cabrillo Playhouse, 202 Ave. Cabrillo, San Clemente, (949) 492-0465.