Diary of A Mad County

Monday, Nov. 22 On this, the 41st anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Traffic Games of Scotland is putting on the market a computer game called JFK Reloaded, which allows players to earn points for successfully shooting President Kennedy—welcome to the end of the world; have you met the Levitra Lady? The Kennedy family is outraged; a spokesman for Senator Edward Kennedy called the game "despicable." On a conference call from the Seventh Level of Hell, Kirk Ewing, Traffic's managing director, said he had nothing but respect for President Kennedy and explained it was with reverence that the game instructs players "to send the president . . . to a cruel and early death" while offering them shooting tips, you know, with respect. And while players are musing on the promise of Camelot, they can also choose to see blood by pressing a "blood-effects option" on the game. Look for upcoming Traffic Games "Bhopal: Outta Sight!" and "My Lai: Hearts and Minds . . . and Brains and Spleens." Seriously, the utter cold-heartedness of this game takes your breath away. Reached at the Sixth Level of Hell, Lee Harvey Oswald said, "Hey, even I'm disgusted by this."

Tuesday, Nov. 23 Mmmmm . . . Taco Tuesday.

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