Diary of a Mad County

MONDAY Oct. 11 Mary Kay Letourneau, daughter of former Orange County Congressman John Schmitz, announces on Larry King Live that she and her man Vili Fualaau are engaged. That's nice. She says she didn't know at the time, when she was 34, it was against the law to have sex with a sixth-grade boy, which proves that she is not only sick, but also really stupid. Still, she says she and Fualaau, who have two kids together, share "a deep spiritual oneness." Yeah, see, I'm just guessing there's going to be a bit of a schism in a few years when there's no more novelty or naughtiness involved in nailing the teacher or jailbird girlfriend. I'm guessing it will occur around the time Fualaau is 30 and all his buddies are bringing over their twentysomething girlfriends and wives and Mary Kay is in her 50s and collecting Hummel figurines. Still, you know, go with God. Am I right? After all the stuff they've been through, who am I to criticize them for managing to keep it together. I once broke up with a girl just because I didn't like the way she played the accordion. Face all scrunched-up. Disgusting.

TUESDAY Oct. 12 Hey, person driving that sweet red-and-silver PT Cruiser south on the 405, you know, the one that had the "Boycott France" sticker in the window. I don't know if you're aware of this, but France wasn't the only country that refused to send troops to Iraq. There were lots and lots of others. Lots. Germany, for example. You've heard of Germany, haven't you? European country. Happy, peace-loving people. Very efficiently run companies such as Daimler. You've heard of Daimler, haven't you? It's the company that owns Chrysler, which made your sweet ride. So, Patriot, I expect to see a "For Sale" sign in that sweet P.T. Kreuzer next time I see you on the free(dom)way.
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