59 Reasons Why Bush Sucks

Why youd have to be a freaking idiot to vote for this guy

54. That Swift Boat horse shit. If you were dumb enough to buy any of it, you deserve whatever freakin' president you get. Bush has made half-hearted denials that he had advanced knowledge about the ads, but on a Sept. 28, 2004, appearance on Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, he was non-committal about whether Karl Rove knew about them, saying, "I don't think so." When asked if his campaign people would give him a "heads up" if they'd coordinated the ads, Bush replied, "Not to my knowledge."

55. "[Iraq] is far graver than Vietnam," retired General William Odom, former head of the National Security Agency, told on Sept. 16. "There wasn't as much at stake strategically, though in both cases we mindlessly went ahead with a war that was not constructive for U.S. aims. But now we're in a region far more volatile and we're in much worse shape with our allies." Odom also said he's never observed so much tension between a presidential administration and senior military officials, not even during Vietnam: "There's a significant [military] majority believing this is a disaster. The two parties whose interests have been advanced have been the Iranians and al-Qaeda."

56. In a Nov. 28, 2002, Toronto Star interview, New York University professor of culture and communications Mark Crispin Miller explained there could be something sinister behind Bush's notorious verbal gaffes. "I think that Bush is a sociopathic personality," Miller said. "I think he's incapable of empathy. . . . He has no trouble speaking off the cuff when he's speaking punitively, when he's talking about violence, when he's talking about revenge. When he struts and thumps his chest, his syntax and grammar are fine; it's only when he leaps into the wild blue yonder of compassion, or idealism, or altruism that he makes these hilarious mistakes." Miller cited an example from early in Bush's presidential tenure: "I know how hard it is to put food on your family." Miller: "That wasn't because he's so stupid that he doesn't know how to say, 'Put food on your family's table'—it's because he doesn't care about people who can't put food on the table. When he tries to talk about what this country stands for or about democracy, he can't do it."

57. In a Sept. 14, 2004, Boston Globe article, Michigan physician Joseph Price told columnist Alex Beam that Bush's mangled syntax could well be the result of "presenile dementia." Price noticed telltale signs of the disorder when his kids gave him a daily tear-off calendar of "Bushisms" for Christmas. "They are horrible," Price told the Globe, "but they are also diagnostic." Price's suspicions were also piqued by a long article about Bush in The Atlantic that reported Bush had been articulate through his 40s, which would rule out diseases like dyslexia that typically develop in childhood. In a letter published this month in The Atlantic, Price describes presenile dementia as "a fairly typical Alzheimer's situation that develops significantly earlier in life. . . . President Bush's 'mangled' words are a demonstration of what physicians call 'confabulation' and are almost specific to the diagnosis of a true dementia."

58. The idea that the leader of the free world is either a sociopath or suffers from a degenerative brain disease is too terrifying to contemplate. Best-case scenario: he's just a plain old dumbass. Keep your fingers crossed, kids.

59. Because this schmuck makes Nixon look good.

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