MONDAY Sept. 27 Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger decides to ban tobacco in state prisons, thereby eliminating prisoners' only form of currency this side of pale, thin boys. This is stupid. Arnold Schwarzenegger stupid. Let's see, we got a bunch of violent criminals, locked up in small rooms, with no access to women or Little Debbie baked goods. Hmmmm, how can we piss them off even more? Got it! Let's take away their smokes and enforce it. How's about we take away their smokes and make 'em watch Ben Affleck movies! Look, I've never been to prison, but I do have a 72-year-old mother who's smoked for the last 50 years or so, and all I know is every time she's tried to stop, she's gotten mean. Don McLean mean.
TUESDAY Sept. 28 If you don't think we're still fighting the Vietnam War, I just saw an "America: Love It or Leave It" bumper sticker on 17th Street in Santa Ana. I kid you not. Now, we live in ironic times, so I just wanna ask the dude in the white Honda Prelude if he was being ironic or is he just lame? Gilbert O'Sullivan lame.