Weekly Index

0

Number of Republicans who took us up on our offer from two weeks ago to shoot them in the arm to prove John Kerry was a pussy for accepting a Purple Heart after taking a hunk of metal in his shoulder while serving in Vietnam.

0

Number of days served in Vietnam by George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, John Ashcroft and Paul Wolfowitz combined.

0

Number of attempts made by George W. Bush to meet the requirements of his Texas Air National Guard training certification, according to Colonel Jerry Killian, who wrote in a memo to himself that he "ordered that 1st Lt. Bush be suspended not just for failing to take a physical, but for failing to perform to U.S. Air Force/Texas Air National Guard standards."

0

Number of people, including George W. Bush, who can say definitively where George W. Bush was during a six-month gap in 1972 when he was supposed to be serving in the Texas Air National Guard.