Join our sister paper, LA Weekly, for a big, fancy event featuring T.C. Boyle and lychee nut martinis to celebrate Boyle's new book, a fictional take on sexy, sexy Alfred Kinsey! Hell yeah! I think this thang may be invite-only. If it is, just say you're my new best friend Mary Reilly. We've got her chained to the turntables at Kitsch just so you can make like a bodysnatcher. Because we care. 7-9 p.m. Free. RSVP to email@example.com. White Lotus, 1743 Cahuenga Blvd., Hollywood.
We want the funk! Gotta have that funk! Bring on the funk! Gotta have the funk! Join Dr. Funkenstein (also known as Supreme High Commanding Space Alien of Love George Clinton) and Parliament Funkadelic. $40-$45 may sound like a lot, but keep in mind they gotta share that money between, like, 60 dudes. And they'll probably get you high. Hell yeah! 8 p.m. All ages. Vault 350, 350 Pine Ave., Long Beach, (888) 80-VAULT; www.vault350.com.
Have you ever seen Bo Diddley? 'Cuz I have. I stuck around for his headlining set at Hootenanny only because I got shamed into it, and it was the best act I've ever seen. Ever. In my life. Now he's headlining the 2004 Long Beach Blues Festival(the 25th-anniversary edition) with some other folks and Macy Gray. Hell yeah! (Tomorrow's offerings include Dave Alvin, my personal friend, who would probably act like he doesn't know me since that's what all my other personal friends are doing lately. Fuck you, Dave Alvin! Hell yeah!) From 11 a.m. $42-$45; children under 12. free. Cal State Long Beach Athletic Field, 1250 Bellflower Blvd., Long Beach, (562) 985-1686; www.kkjz.org/events.
Sun Jeff Tuttle invites you to the Straight to Hell comedy show, a Sunday ritual for the religiously challenged. Hell yeah! That sounds nice. 9 p.m. Fierro's, 211 N. Harbor Blvd., Fullerton, (714) 680-3663.Mon
Rent Monster. The Charlize Theron-as-a-scary-ugly-chick flick is actually a heartwarming love story, albeit one where the lover kills her tricks and has a face like a truck and gets left by Christina Ricci,who's a manipulative little bitch who doesn't deserve such devotion and sweet ardor. Fuck you, Christina Ricci! Hell yeah!
The men and womyn of the Centro Cultural de Mexico are just about my favorite people in the world, all DIY and activist, with a big smattering of sweet lesbians who would never kill anyone thrown in. So join the Junta de Voluntarios (Open Discussion Forum) abd share ideas on creating a better society! Yeah! 7 p.m. $5. Centro Cultural de Mexico,1522 S. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 953-9305.
Wed Western Wednesdaysfeaturing Von Cottonplaying country and western originals and covers of Haggard, Cash, etc. That sounds awesome! I hope he doesn't suck! 10 p.m. Free. 21+. Back Alley Bar and Grill,116 1/2 Wilshire, Fullerton, (714) 526-3032. Thurs/Sept 9 Side By Side By Sondheim, a collection of both famous and not-so-famous songs with music and lyrics by Broadway icon Stephen Sondheim includes music from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Company, A Little Night Music, Follies, Evening Primrose, West Side Story, Gypsy, The Mad Show, The Seven Percent Solution, Anyone Can Whistle, Pacific Overtures and Do I Hear a Waltz? That sounds kind of good for you, like Life Cereal. But maybe you'd like it. I don't know. I don't really know you. I do not! 7:30 p.m. $46. Orange County Performing Arts Center,Founders Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2122; www.ocpac.org.