Diary of a Mad County

MONDAY Aug. 30 The War on Terrorism—a Quinn Martin Production—has been such a success that Bush says today it'll have an indefinite run.

TUESDAY Aug. 31 So apparently local fast-food slinger Carl's Jr.'s ads have impressed competitors enough that behemoth McDonald'sis trying the winning formula of presenting its food in an unappetizing way enjoyed by social rejects. But whereas the Carl's louses come off as loveable, ill-equipped slobs, the McDonald's bunch are more of the paranoid-schizophrenic variety seeing as they are actually afraid someone would want to steal their nasty-ass "chicken." What's incredible is that McDonald's seems to play on this point, as their commercials point out that nobody, in fact, wants their nasty-ass "chicken," that adults who eat McDonald's tend to do so alone while talking to themselves. You know, like Georgia Frontiere. . . . In separate terrorist attacks, eight die in a Moscow subway station, 16 die on two Israeli buses, and 12 Nepalese are killed by Iraqi insurgents. George W. Bush: a man of his word.

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