Diary of a Mad County

TUESDAY, June 15 With the weekend receipts counted, Shrek 2officially becomes the highest-grossing animated film of all time. Most would credit the film's success to top-notch writing and wonderful voice performances that make the film irresistible to kids and adults. Idiots. The Traditional Values Coalition (TVC) knows the real reason: transgenderism. On its website, the Anaheim-based nut tank says, "The movie features a male-to-female transgender (in transition) as an evil bartender. The character has five-o'clock shadow, wears a dress and has female breasts. It is clear that he is a she-male. His voice is that of talk-show host Larry King." (Why the TVC assumes any character voiced by Larry King is a she-male is beyond me. I've always thought of Larry as being completely butch, as have his 137 wives.) The TVC also has a problem with a wolf wearing grandma's clothes and the intimation that Pinocchio, who's made of wood, wears women's underwear. Heh, heh. Wood. Anyway, apparently we're all a bunch of Marys because we're crazy for this dragfest, Shrek 2 having passed previous animated champs Finding Nemo and The Lion King, a film about an impressionable young lion taken in by two longtime companions who indoctrinate him into their lifestyle and eventually help him murder his closeted uncle. Shrek 2 is No. 9 on the all-time box office list just behind dinosaur epic Jurassic Park and S&M biopic The Passion of the Christ.

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