Eight Days

Thurs/June 10 The cool cats at Cypress College present six new plays between now and July 15 in their Seventh Annual New Play Festival. Today: Wasted by Daniel Cariaga, about a ragey suburban boy who kills a drug dealer, and Zipporah Porton's Breakfast, about a bunch of lousy bitches who dine on one another's reputations over breakfast (didn't see that coming!). Due to "mature topics and themes," it's recommended "for adults only." Sounds like my son gets another night at the theater! 8 p.m. Free! Cypress College, 9200 Valley View St., Cypress, (714) 484-7201.

Fri Come see Ballet Frankfurt before they go poof. Not like that, you big phobey ass! The city—apparently led by arts-lover John Ashcroft—is all pissed they're too experimental and are cutting the famed company's funding. So stop being a freaking Neanderthal already and come get some culture on you. Some of it's even erotic culture! Perhaps between a man and a woman as G-d intended! Whooo! 8 p.m. $20-$75. Orange County Performing Arts Center, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-2122; www.ocpac.org. Sat So you're planning on doing something better with your Saturday than hanging out with the leftylicious Sisters of St. Josephas they host Strategic Nonviolent Direct Action Training? Really? And how does it feel to know you could have stopped the Armageddonist president—most likely with cool giant puppets—but you were too busy going to a show? Join Sharon Lungo of the Ruckus Society(mmmm, ruckus!) and Action Resource Centerand Tafarai Bayne with Strategic Action for a Just Economy in this daylong seminar on organizing. Besides: Haven't you always wanted to play "Spot the FBI Infiltrator"? 10 a.m. Orange County Peace Coalition, Sisters of St. Joseph Conference Center, 480 S. Batavia Ave., Orange, (714) 278-2290.

Or you could just come see me—me!—as Judy Carter, Patrick Stackand I judge the Orange Idolcomedy contest. You know. Either way. 8 p.m. $12. Don Cribb Theater, 809 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 550-9890.

Sun On what will undoubtedly be an absolutely gorgeous Sunday afternoon, make sure you go sit in a dark place for a couple of hours. Here's one! OC's new theater, Orange Curtain (good name!), presents Lobby Hero, a Kenneth Lonerganplay about murder most foul. And security guards. 'Cuz they're always up in that shit. 3 p.m. Through June 27. $12. The Camino Real Playhouse, 31776 El Camino Real, San Juan Capistrano, (949) 412-3252. Mon Learn about champagne—its amazing aromas and brilliant flavors and the way it makes you quite, quite drunk—at All About Champagne. For $65, you'll taste a variety of top champagnes, including offerings from Veuve Clicquot, Champagne Taittinger, Moet, Laurent Perrier, Heidseck and others. Me, I imagine my press comp is in the mail. 7-9:30 p.m. Hyatt Regency Irvine, 17900 Jamboree Rd., Irvine, (310) 451-7600; www.acteva.com/go/lawandthewineclub.com.Tues Like fervent Adlai Stevenson fans, sweet lefties still meet every Tuesday in Anaheim and Irvine (if you're a sweet lefty in Laguna Beach or Costa Mesa, you have to meet on Mondays) to make grand plans for the Jan. 2 inauguration of the next president of the United States, Dennis Kucinich! Never say die, Kucinich kooks! 7 p.m. Kucinich Club of Anaheim, Unitarian Church, 511 S. Harbor Blvd., Anaheim, (562) 230-5316; Kucinich Club of Irvine, Corner Bakery Cafe, The Irvine Market Place, 13786 Jamboree Rd., Irvine, (949) 550-6798.Wed Author Candace Bushnell reads from her sharp-witted Trading Up. Bushnell . . . Bushnell . . . Where have I heard that name before? 7 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 6326 E. Pacific Coast Hwy., Long Beach, (562)Thurs/June 17 In something that was probably great fun but will doubtless be co-opted as b-roll for Paul Moyer's end-of-the-newscast lighthearted moment, the Key Club presents the Air Guitar Championships. Paul Moyer. How very wacky. 7:30 p.m. $10-$15. 21+. Key Club, 9039 W. Sunset Blvd., W. Hollywood, (310) 786-1712.