Bonus: All the dives we love to love!

We went on to the Friendly Tavern(it's the cutest thing you ever saw, a stand-alone flagstoned building that looks like an old Altadena dairy) and the suspicious blonde behind the bar, who indeed was not overly hospitable, directed us across the parking lot to the Oasis.

There, Skeith was freaked out because, in addition to being stupid, he is a big puss, and the Oasis was nice and scary. The girl in the unflattering, large-weave fishnets who was singing "American Girl" needs to be in a punk band, not a cover band; she screamed through "Sweet Emotion" in a way that would have been perfect for rolling around with Courtney Love. Meanwhile, we giggled at the vertical '70s rec-room wood paneling and were agog at the play on the pool tables. Oasis is a shooters' bar, by which I do not mean a bar for shooters of heroin. No, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it's way more meth.

I'm kidding! It's for pool players and people carrying swords.

We hit the Orange County Music Awards Saturday night, and we'll let Rich Kanetell you about most of it on page 39, but really we've got to say that it was its usual delightful clusterfuck. I don't believe I've ever almost physically fought someone over a steak dinner. Oh, of course I have! Usually, though, I don't have backup. (The short, balding dude who walked into the Weekly's upstairs box and walked out with our steak was furious when we sent a commando raid in to retrieve it. He was sputtering and shaking until I asked him—and I swear these words have never come out of my mouth before—"Who are you?" He turned away, unwilling to dignify the question, but then couldn't resist. "I'm the . . . president . . . of the LABEL!" he shouted. That's when, I'm afraid, we all laughed. Anyway, it turned out we'd accidentally stolen someone else's steaks, and they never really got over it.) The only other thing I noticed was the utter fabulousness and Etheridgicity of Sideswipe, who rocked through a medley that included serious shredding on "Pinball Wizard" and the singer sharing a drum duo with her ex-girlfriend. They broke up and so did the band, and now you'll never get to hear Sideswipe who really did rule even though I described them as having Etheridgicity.

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