The Muck Stops Here

Win a scholarship from Fox's The O.C.

News item: Sixty students at Cal Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law are setting up the Sandy Cohen Fellowship, a scholarship that will send a student to work in the Orange County public defender's office this summer. Sandy Cohen is a fictional character portrayed by actor Peter Gallagher on Fox's teen soaper The O.C.

On the show, Cohen is a Berkeley law grad who was an idealistic public defender before selling out to join a high-powered law firm. The Boalters, who recently celebrated "O.C. Awareness Week" on campus by wearing orange shirts with quotes from the show on the back, believe Sandy Cohen embodies all that is good about the legal profession. That got us thinking of other scholarships that should be based on the show:

Caleb Nichol Scholarship. This goes to the student with a keen sense for cutting corners, bending rules, greasing palms, destroying the environment and banging hot babes. Kirsten Cohen Scholarship. For the privileged student who hasn't a clue that her powerful daddy is dirtier than a wet Mercedes S500 in a sandstorm. This is a lock for the spawn of those in the highest echelons of the Orange County Sheriff's Department. Jimmy Cooper Scholarship. Newport Beach is the capital of scam artists, crooked telemarketers and inherited wealth. Who needs a scholarship—or college for that matter? Just prove you can swindle your family, friends and retirees out of their life savings, and you're in. (Previously known as the Eddie Allen Memorial Scholarship.) Julie Cooper Scholarship. Ditch college. Bang your model-quality ex-girlfriend's smoking-hot mom without getting caught. Riviera Magazine Scholarship. The journalism student who best displays a knack for sucking off the local rich and powerful without mentioning the way they cut corners, bend rules, grease palms, destroy the environment and bang hot babes—as depicted in the recent O.C.that had the real Rivieraname the fictional Caleb Nichol its man of the year. The lucky awardee gets a staff position at one of the countless Orange County publications that suck off the local rich and powerful.
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