Executive Roundtable

Something Corporates cheese will suck you in

I would like to damn to hell a certain colleague who planted the idea in my head that Orange County's poppy, piano-based quintet Something Corporate sound like Bruce Hornsby and the Range because now I have to admit that I like Bruce Hornsby and the Range, and that is painful. Am I really a fan of melody layered upon melody nestled upon melody, served on a robust bed of tinkling keys with a hefty side of hooks? But more pasteurized and lily-white and safe? But with a little nutty frat-boy madness thrown in for good measure? Oh God, here we go . . .

See, wildly popular Something Corporate are extremely polished and tight. They don't so much jump out of your stereo as pirouette out, with perfectly formatted, radio-and-television-ready ennui and, I suspect, extremely perfect teeth. And I get the self-conscious wink-wink band name and all, but the truth is that they are something very corporate, and just because you consume something with a sticker on it that says, "Hi, I know you're consuming me" or even, "Hi, I've read the collected works of Walter Benjamin," it doesn't really allay the feeling of being compromised.

That said, the songwriting is impressive, the lyrics are solid, the playing is taut. And I really can't get the songs—most of which are about being far away from everything familiar—out of my head.

On the heartbreaking, languid and tinkle-happy "As You Sleep" (the first track off their second full-length, North), main songwriter/piano-playing front man Andrew McMahon paints a series of lonely images, including "watching heartache on TV." This act is akin to listening to Something Corporate. This is emotion done up all glossy-style. When you consider that Something Corporate have been played on The O.C., the hall-of-mirrors/infinite-regress effect is mind-blowing.

But I dare you to not be affected by this cheese. This band will have their way with your heartstrings whether you want them to or not. Resistance is futile.

Not that the damn kids in this county—who've embraced Something Corporate with a passion usually reserved for whippets and skateboarding—even tried. It's their fault Something Corporate have turned into the colossal, whopping, how-the-fuck-did-that-happen success story they are, selling out the UC Irvine Bren Events Center and getting hounded on the street and going for the kind of zippy ride that one day they'll look back on and wish they had the presence of mind to enjoy more because back then they were too young and foolish to appreciate what was happening. Actually, strike that—this band was never young and foolish.

"I emulated Alex P. Keaton. That guy was my idol to no end," admits McMahon, calling from somewhere between Indianapolis and Cleveland, in the midst of radio-station-promotion engagements, which he enjoys. He's referring to the young Republican scion of idealistic hippie parents Steve and Elyse Keaton from television's Family Ties. Like Alex, McMahon wore neckties to school in kindergarten.

"I've always loved the idea of being young and able to handle yourself," he says. Truer words could not be spoken. To say he's buckled down, serious about his career and/or got his shit together would be an understatement of the highest order. This guy could plan your wedding. This guy could revamp your company. This guy could run for president. And on that tip:

"We're trying to be as political as possible right now," he says, after saying something that he wished he hadn't said and then asking if he can take it back.

But he's one of those lovable, tightly wound types. Slick as all hell, probably one mother of a control freak, but with an undeniable sweetness that comes through as genuine vulnerability.

"I was a pretty sensitive kid growing up," he says. "I was a pretty big freak, to be honest."

McMahon was the youngest of five siblings, and about this, he says, "If you didn't have the loudest voice, no one heard you, so I always tried to have the loudest possible voice." His musical talent revealed itself early. At age nine, without instruction, he was writing full pop songs on the piano. He never says it, but it's not too hard to imagine the word "prodigy" was bandied about.

"It was weird when it happened," he recalls. "My parents were really shocked. I really loved the piano, and it was a difficult time—I had an uncle who passed away, and for whatever reason, that was the mechanism I went to to cope with that loss."

He describes his early work as "simple, uneducated little songs," but come on, the kid was fucking nine. His simple, uneducated little songs were probably freakishly complex compositions. Sadly, he hit a midcareer plateau just as he was going into fifth grade.

"I couldn't write anything else; I just didn't know what else I could do, my hands weren't capable." He enrolled in classical-music lessons for three years, after which he was able to "hone and develop my songwriting skills."

Near the end of high school, he started playing in bands with fellow OC kids. He felt a kinship with Josh Partington, the other songwriter in the group, because Partington was a "really creative player open to other types of music. Not the typical pop/punk type stuff a lot of the bands coming out when I was in high school were doing."

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