How Will We Know?

Only our vaginas know for sure!

Hey, these Kucinich cats are organized! There's also a Weekly Meetingin Irvine. 7 p.m. Corner Bakery Cafe, The Irvine Market Place, 13786 Jamboree Rd., Irvine, (949) 550-6798.

WED I saw Nina Hagenwhen I lived in New York, at one of those incredibly hip New York venues. I didn't really like it. Still, she's even hipper than Margaret Cho, and she's playing with Texas Terri(whom I also don't really like) and Third Grade Teacher(who are okay). 8 p.m. $17.50. All ages. Galaxy Concert Theatre, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600;

Also? It's my birthday.

THURS/FEB 26 Neal Pollack, the Greatest Living American Writer, was at my house smoking crack this week, and I put local boys Square on the box, and he listened politely for seven songs before he made me change it. So I put on Johnny Cash, and Pollack said he can't like Johnny Cash as much anymore because all the hipsters were so sad when Johnny Cash died that they ruined his sadness (or something; I was smoking crack, too, and I'm sure I'm misquoting him horribly, due to the crack and all), and I said it was okay I was sad when Johnny Cash died because I was even sadder when June Carter died because him I'd been expecting, but her . . . ! Then Pollack said it was even more excruciatingly hip to be sad about June Carter, and I punched him in the throat. So come on out to the Doll Hut for a Johnny Cash birthday tribute presented by Grease Demon Entertainment. 9 p.m. $5. 21+. Doll Hut, 107 S. Adams St., Anaheim, (714) 533-1286; —Rebecca Schoenkopf
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